“What do you think is the most important question in life?”
And it’s not even close for a second most important question because unless we figure out who we are fundamentally then every decision we make will be flawed. Think about it. What do we want as our career? Do we want what we think others want for us, or do we know where we fit in the world and we go for that? What about relationships? Too many people shift with the wind, owning a separate personality for each person we’re with at any given time. How is that conducive to finding our “happy ending?”
For me personally it took forever to even ask that question. I think I figured it was as natural as breathing, knowing who I am, but it turns out I was dead wrong. All the time I spent trying to fit into a circle, I never thought to ask if I was square all along. It makes sense now, looking back, but for all those years I honestly thought I was the crazy one, never sure of much, but certain there was something missing all the same. I never thought to ask if that something was me.
Once I finally let myself ask that question and took the time to process what that meant I realized I was a lot different from what people had always said I was growing up, but I was also a lot different from the person I had always told people I was. It was an epiphany of the utmost proportions because I had based my whole life on what would make the person I thought I was happy, not on what would make the REAL ME happy. So it took a lot of rearranging to figure out what was best for the me I actually ended up being. And I’m a lot happier now that I made that shift.
So what stops us from asking that most essential of questions? Pride. It takes a lot to humble ourselves enough to question our belief systems, or at least it did for me. I hate being wrong, so imagine having to face being wrong about who I was at my very core. It took a real hard fall, and a stern look at myself to even get me to reconsider everything I thought I knew about myself, and maybe that’s what it takes anyone to finally search for those answers. Whatever it takes, it’s well worth it, even if half of your life is already over by the time you eventually get to it.
It’s never too late to find out who you are. Believe me.
Sam