Forgive or Forget?

“I’ve forgotten all the reasons I loved you, ’till someone tells me that you rang. The memories are hazy now. I don’t recall at all. There’s nothing. There’s nothing there, just me. And I don’t understand why.” ~Phil Collins

I’ve forgotten so many things over the course of my 41 years of life on this earth, some that I wanted desperately to forget, and others that I wanted desperately to save from extinction. But they all went just the same — in time. Because time is the ultimate equalizer in all things, isn’t it?

It’s always been interesting to me when people say they never forget. That means they just hang on like a dog with a bone, struggling to keep grip while everything around them disintegrates. In fact, it often means that whatever they are hanging onto cut so bone deep that they feel they can’t let it go.

Now forgiveness — that’s another animal altogether. It means we aren’t forgetting, but we are moving on. It’s the world of second chances that exists specifically because we will it to be. It’s where the saying that “It happens twice, shame on me” happens to live. Some people just aren’t hardwired to forgive, though. They like to say whatever happened was “unforgivable,” but what they really mean to say is that they don’t want to forgive. Continue reading “Forgive or Forget?”

30 Promises: Day 15

Day 15: I promise to be more adventurous.

Ireland Pictures 034

When I was younger I did more things. I was often out and about. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more sedentary, preferring to bunker down at home instead of venturing forth into the great wild yonder. Well, I’m not saying I want to go into the wilderness or anything, but I need to make more connections, to get out and do things with actual people sometime.

Sometimes I feel like I’m turning into a statue who goes to work, who ferries the kids places, and who writes. That’s not me. I want to be no man’s statue, not even my own. So this summer I promise to travel places, to do things I haven’t ever done, or that I haven’t done in a good long while. No one’s getting any younger. I guess I’m feeling like carpeing the shit out of the diem, seizing the damn day and shaking it like a rag doll.

The other day I was at a restaurant / bar with some friends. It felt weird, but cool at the same time. I didn’t know the etiquette of how to order and pay for a drink so I watched other people for a while to try and get the hang of it. People kept asking me if I wanted a drink because they were headed to the bar, but I never quite figured out the intricacies of all of that. So I said no. Continue reading “30 Promises: Day 15”

Parenting For Tomorrow

“Be the parent today that you want your kids to remember tomorrow.” ~Anonymous

We hear all this talk about living for today, about being in the moment, about doing what we want right now because tomorrow is never promised to us. But, as a parent that’s not quite the way I view life. For me it’s about making sure the future is as hospitable place for my children as it can be, and that my children are as prepared to survive in that future as they can be.

I’m what you might call an “involved” parent. I’m the one who is at the school whenever there is a small issue, whenever there is a big issue, or just because it’s a Tuesday sometimes. I’ve been known to bring another sandwich because I was worried the first sandwich wasn’t as fresh by lunch time as it should have been.

But I don’t think I’m an overly involved parent. I don’t take my children to school because I don’t trust the bus system, or anything like that. I’m a concerned parent because I know that what happens to my children right now can have a huge effect on how they envision their own future, and on how the world sees them. I believe in the “teach a kid to fish” philosophy. Continue reading “Parenting For Tomorrow”

Flash Fiction: Synthesis

The word: nimble
The word count: 500 words

The artificial lung hung on the wall as it had for 265 days, or as long as Allison had been at her job, give or take a day. It wasn’t there to commemorate her promotion, however. It was there for its own reason that the brass hadn’t deemed mandatory for their subordinates to know. Not that it stopped the kind of frenetic gossip that took place around the water cooler from occurring. In fact, since Product Corp had been founded, there were no fewer than eight such water cooler environments per floor to encourage just that kind of frenetic gossip.

Allison didn’t really give the artificial lung the time of day. She was far too busy making life or death decisions, figuring out which swatch matched the wall color in the Fergusons’ summer home down at the Cape, for instance. Continue reading “Flash Fiction: Synthesis”

30 Promises: Day 9

Day 9: I promise to complain less.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to find excuses to complain about things instead of just chilling out. Case in point — yesterday’s post. Yes, I know I should expect a sense of order from those delivering or offering services to my house, but why take up my own valuable time complaining about it? Especially when I know nothing will get done on it unless they decide to change the system.

That’s how it is with most things I complain about, in that complaining isn’t constructive. Talking things out and figuring out quality solutions to problems that I can actually change, well, that’s constructive. My dad always said that “God sorts out those kinds of things,” as if there’s this divine being who wants me to sit back passively and wait for things to happen around me. That’s how I always interpreted it. But maybe he meant that there’s no use fighting against things that aren’t ours to fight. Continue reading “30 Promises: Day 9”

Between 8 AM and Noon


How come it seems like anytime a company says they’ll be there between 8 a.m. and noon they always show up when you least expect them? I was waiting on a package today, and I was here for all but 15 minutes of the “approximate time,” and of course they came during that 15 minutes. Luckily for me, I set it as a non-signature drop-off, but what if I hadn’t?

Why do all these companies have such large windows of time for these kinds of drop-offs or stop-bys? It’s like the cable company saying they have a 4 or 6-hour window that their representative “should be by,” when we all know that if they do show up they will probably be at one end of another of that window (and usually at the tail end, if not over the time allotted).

I guess I just don’t get it. I mean, in this world of technology, advanced metrics, and all that jazz, how come we can’t be very specific with our times? If your GPS says it is 35 minutes to the town I’m in, and you know you’re going there that day, why not give me, let’s say, an hour or a 2 hour window instead of the 4 hour behemoth? That seems far too old school in this new school age. Or maybe I’m just ahead of my time. But I don’t think so.

And, aside from that, the company knows around the time they’ll be in your neighborhood. They know if they’ll be hitting your town at the beginning, the middle, or the end of their route. So even if they don’t give you a very exact time, at least give you the ballpark figure. “We’ll be there in the morning. We start our route at 8, and you are 3rd on our list.” How hard is that? You can even program in your route and the computer will do the rest.

It’s just so difficult for me to believe that these companies aren’t just resting on their supposed laurels, that they aren’t still giving these wide-open swaths of time just to toy with us, the consumer. Whether it’s the cable guy, the UPS guy, or whoever else is coming to offer a service, it all seems a bit shady to me.

But maybe that’s just me.


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