Why do I keep letting this date hypnotize me? It’s been so long, but I can’t just let it pass by without remembering.
You know how it is, how some dates are just seared into your brain? How some dates just have an emotional relevance, even if the emotions they relate to have passed into the ether?
July 21st. It’s like one of the red letter days in the history of my universe, the date where two relationships converge, even though both of those relationships have been over for twenty plus years.
Maybe it can’t leave me alone because I can’t let it. Perhaps I protest too much. It could be that I still haven’t achieved closure in either respect, even though I feel like I let that all go. Hey, I even wrote a book about it. What says “closure” more than writing a book about it, than setting it all in stone and letting others see it for themselves?
Yet, here I am again, on July 21st, wondering why.
It’s like a touchstone, like I have to acknowledge it yearly, so that I can move on from it the other 365 days of the year, as I wait for it to come around again. Well, actually, that’s not true. I don’t think about it–about them–on pretty much any other day. Just today. Maybe it could be like the 13th floor in many swanky hotels. Poof. Even though we know it’s still there, masquerading as the 14th floor, we know better.
But it still makes us feel a little better.
Here’s to July 22nd.