Month: February 2015

We all have certain tendencies we lean toward, especially when things get tough. They’re ingrained in us, hardwired like computer programming, so we turn to them when we need to make quick decisions. I know for me that’s certainly true because if you lay out all of the decisions I’ve made in my life in a line on the floor the line would be long, but the basis for each decision would be a very small list.

I’ve usually made decisions based on self-preservation, or on the pleasure principle. Generally the decisions made to achieve momentary pleasure are followed up shortly by the ones that stress self-preservation. There’s a reason for that. My personality is a large one, which means most times when I make decisions they generally affect more people than just a few. It’s the nature of being me, because people listen to me when I speak.

I feed off of the attention and make even more decisions to maintain that attention, even if the decisions are circumspect. I know this about myself, but only recently have I been able to really derail those poor decisions. Most of them lead to some variations of falsehoods, which of course can put me in tough situations. I know when I’m doing it that I should stop, but the attention fuels the fire. Continue reading “The Reflex”