Yesterday we had a rousing discussion around the water cooler about being pretty and being hot, and how they’re distinctly not the same thing. It reminded me of this episode of The Office where the employees were split on whether or not Hilary Swank is hot. Great actress sure. But is she HOT? And what makes someone hot vs. pretty and vice versa?
This one guy, we’ll call him Phil, said that girls are pretty when they are naturally attractive, and girls are hot when they wear something “skanky.” Which of course got all the girls who were also around the water cooler up in arms. They questioned whether or not skanks can truly be called hot, and more importantly, do ALL guys think that way? Then he clarified, that it wasn’t really skanky he was referencing, but something that showed off a girl’s body. Pretty girls, he said, didn’t need to show off their bodies, because they have this essence, this girl-next-doorness that attracts people to them in the “good” way. I think that did enough to call off the lynch mob, but just barely.
Then a lady, we’ll call her Amanda, replied that being pretty is all relative, while all the ladies around the water cooler applauded in response. She said that someone can be unattractive physically, but that his/her personality could sway the tide of individual, or even group, opinion. And she also said that it can translate to hotness as well. How many times have we seen what we would characterize a HOT girl with an “undesirable” guy? It happens because she sees something in him that changes her opinion of his outside qualities as well. It is the transformative power of the personality, which happens more often than you’d think.
But Phil came back with, “Sometimes a girl just isn’t hot, no matter how great her personality is.” And that’s okay, he said, because it’s not about being hot anyway. It should be about connecting with someone, as a friend, or as something more. And that just takes attraction on any level, not specifically hotness. Pretty girls make better companions anyway, he said. There was grumbling around the water cooler from the ladies, but no one denied what he said. I was on my way out of the room at that point so I wouldn’t have known if there was a conversation that ensued from that one after all, but there very well may have been.
I think the overall point was made, though, that being pretty and being hot are all states of mind, are all individual opinions. Some people have what are called “types,” and they blindly follow those without giving anyone else a chance, no matter their personality, and that’s a very sad thing. TLC had a song called Unpretty where they validated the theory that people don’t often give others a chance after initial appearance.
“I wish I could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too.”
Sam
Sam's Online Journal 
Hillary Swank is hot in a physically attractive way and also in a way related to her mannerisms, but hard to explain. Some women have a coolness that attracts without intimidating. Like Julia Styles and Jennifer Garner. They would still be hot without the youthful good looks.
Thanks for sharing your type of woman, Daryl. Lol.
you bet!