Water Cooler Musings: On Music

business group standing around water cooler.Haven’t you ever wondered where some people get their musical tastes from? I mean, every song, every artist someone likes probably has a story behind why they like the song or artist. I know for me I found some of my favorite singers/bands by some incredibly interesting ways, and their music spoke to me for a number of reasons.

I remember when I was 16 and I heard U2 for the first time (well, the first time when I realized it was them) on the radio on the way back from camp meeting that summer. The song was “Lemon,” and it was playing on an alternative music station, back when alt stations actually played music that wouldn’t have classified as mainstream. But I heard the song, and I was hooked. Now they’re my favorite band.

But you wouldn’t think I was a U2 fan if you just looked at me, because music is something that is personal, something internal that can’t be seen on the outside. That’s one of the things about music, that it can bring people together who wouldn’t otherwise have anything in common. It’s like magic, but you don’t know what music someone else likes unless you ask them or they tell you. Today, around the water cooler, we talked about what our music says about us.

Me: I bet I can tell what kind of music you listen to?

Teddy: Try me.

Me: I’m thinking you have a sensitive spirit, so maybe… 1970s groove, like Marvin Gaye.

Teddy: Guess again. I like that sensitive spirit stuff though.

Me: Marilyn Manson?

Teddy: Not quite.

LeRoy: I liked me some Marilyn Manson back in the day.

Me: Why doesn’t that surprise me?

LeRoy: So what else do I like?

Me: I’m thinking… Coldplay.

LeRoy: Keep thinking. Although I am a child of the 90s.

Me: Snoop Dogg? Continue reading “Water Cooler Musings: On Music”

Water Cooler Musings: On Co-Dependency

codependencyI’ve often asked myself why so many people stay in destructive relationships where they aren’t appreciated or treated as equals, and where they’re often either ignored or taken for granted in some way, shape, or form. And the answer comes back loudly and clearly: because they’re afraid to be alone. So many people will accept so much less than they should because they don’t think they’re worthy of anything else and they can’t face the thought of being by themselves. That was the topic of discussion around the water cooler this week.

Tracy: My sister was with this guy for two years who treated her like shit. He was always talking about how she had to gain weight, how thin she always looked, and how he liked a little meat on his women. It gave her a complex.

Me: No wonder. How did she survive two years with him?

Tracy: He wasn’t like that at first, or at least he didn’t seem like it. I think it came out later.

Yeah, later, when he got more comfortable speaking his mind, or when he figured she was so into him that she would do what he wanted anyway. And for the most part he was right because she didn’t say anything against him when he started railing against her weight and how much food she “should be eating.” As I listened to Tracy talk about this guy, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loathing toward someone who could treat a woman that way. Then we got down to the source of it all.

Me: Why do you think she put up with it after he started showing his true colors?

Tracy: Well, I think it’s because he looked good, and because she just never was alone, I guess. Not since first year of high school when she got her first boyfriend. That was… eight years ago.

Me: And how many relationships has she been in since?

Tracy: A ton. I lost count after six, and this guy counted as six. But she’s never been alone. She’s with another guy now who I think is better.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? She can’t stand the empty feeling of not having someone in her life, of doing anything by herself because she’s never learned how to do it. For her entire adult life she’s been in one destructive relationship after another simply because she can’t NOT be in a relationship. For her own sanity. And that’s sad, but she’s not the only one. Continue reading “Water Cooler Musings: On Co-Dependency”