Everyone has bits and pieces of themselves that aren’t obvious, that don’t stand out but that are there nonetheless. We showcase the things that we are proud of, and those things that make us less sure, we tend to bury them down deep, at least when we’re in public. It’s why when someone dies and others go through their stuff they always find something surprising.
No one is an open book. How dull would the world be if we all were? If we were all 2-dimensional characters in a book we would quickly tire of our boring lives before too long. There’s something to be said for surprises, for being able to find out something we didn’t realize about someone else. It’s like thinking you’ve climbed to the top of Mt. Everest, and finding out you’re really only halfway up. Enjoy the rest of the climb.
That’s why it doesn’t surprise me when people who have been married for umpteen years decide to divorce, citing boredom, or saying that they now want “different things.” It makes perfect sense. They’ve been around each other for an eternity, so they have no more surprises. They’re bored, and instead of making new memories they can share with each other, they lament the loss of the mystique they had once upon a time.
I guess I think there are no excuses when it comes to relationships falling apart. Either you accept the person for who they are, or you don’t. But citing boredom after being together for a long time, that can easily be remedied. See, once couples get into a routine they tend to do most things together. It’s why my wife and I make time for individual pursuits. Then, we can share those experiences with each other, keeping life vibrant. If I spent every last waking minute with her what do we have to talk about?
I love those bits and pieces of myself that not everyone knows, because they make me unique. But I’m no longer into surprise for surprise’s sake. I’m into making new memories, drawing new connections, then bringing them all back home again. Because who wants to get boring?