“In what way are you selfish?”
Do you know those elitist people who always think they’re ahead of the curve with everything? They’re the ones who swear they had an iPad first, who went to TriBeCa before it became popular, and who created their own skinny jeans in 1998. They’re the same ones who listened to Death Cab For Cutie before they went “all mainstream,” and don’t listen to them anymore, searching for the next “secret” they can hoard until someone else finds out about it. Yeah, I’m not them.
But I am selfish when it comes to my own music, to my own DVDs, and to my own books. I’m always careful when I recommend something that I love to someone else because I know they might ask to borrow it, and then I’ll feel bad telling them no, or I’ll say yes and I’ll freak out the entire time they have it. I have good reason to be selfish because of past experience, though.
My sister’s friend (I’ll call him a friend) borrowed my Super Nintendo a long time ago, and he claimed he would give it back to me eventually. Well, eventually has come and gone and I haven’t seen it. In fact, I finally gave it up for a loss a few years ago and bought a new one, but it still haunts me. I heard from the grapevine that he sold it a while ago, and I’ve tried to make my peace with it, but the whole experience makes me want to hold tightly to my possessions all the more.
The same thing has happened with books I’ve lent out in the past. My favorite book, The Emerson High Vigilantes — which is out of print now and I can’t find anywhere — took off with an ex-girlfriend and even though she gave me back a bunch of my stuff I never got back the book, despite entreaties on its behalf. And the list goes on of items I used to have but that have disappeared due to neglect, and lies, and all other manner of maladies that afflict human beings who keep things that aren’t theirs.
So I’ve got an honest reason to be selfish, right? Or maybe I just like having excuses to keep my property in my possession, and history’s as good an excuse as I can get. Oh, and the new Death Cab For Cutie album is to die for.
Sam
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