I Wanted to Be Harry Potter

I remember when I first discovered the wizarding world created by JK Rowling, sometime after the release of The Goblet of Fire and before The Order of the Phoenix, and I wondered what all the fuss was about. There had been series before, and there would be series after, so I didn’t pay much attention to the one stirring up such a hornet’s nest (that one’s part of a favorite series too) at that time. I knew it had been banned, and I knew it had to do with witchcraft, but I had no idea how important it would come to be in my life. Not then.

You see, at the time I was going through an enormous move, a life-altering event that involved trust, faith, and maybe even a little bit of fear. Okay, definitely a lot of fear. For the first time in my life I was going out on a limb for what I felt deep down in my soul was love, something worth believing in so much that I was willing to uproot myself for it, and looking back on it, I’m oh so glad I did. But at the time it was all I could do to stop from getting hives (I got them anyway) during the process. The last thing on my mind was getting into a new series.

And yet I did, because the second I opened up The Sorceror’s Stone (I enjoy the original title of The Philosopher’s Stone better), after I found it for a dollar in a used book store, I couldn’t put it down. In fact, by the time I made the enormously significant move, I had read through that first book, as well as the second and half of the third. And that was with me trying to pace myself knowing that there was only one more book after the third that I would be able to read until the waiting for book number five began for me (I was so lucky that my wait for Order of the Phoenix wasn’t as long as for many other fans).

At the same time my life continued on, and I noticed several parallels between myself and the “boy who lived.” He had an outward scar that was symbolic of the inner scarring from a traumatic experience that separated him from his parents. I had an outward scar left on me because of my stupidity falling off a stool. He had a group of two friends who both had skills he did not possess, but that he relied on for support and help throughout his journey. I had one friend throughout elementary and middle school who lent me his pencils. He was due for a major battle with the incarnate embodiment of all evil in the known world. I was due for a haircut (well, he was too, but don’t get me started on that).

I wanted to be Harry Potter for many reasons, the chief of which was that he was a smartass. Harry wasn’t the smart kid in class (even though he had the trademark glasses for it). He wasn’t even respected much by his peers for much of his schooling (they thought he was overrated, and Malfoy bested him in the pranks department). But he was often witty when necessary, and he took it to the adults who were, let’s face it, so oblivious much of the time. His smart alec comments to Snape on several occasions won me over to his way of thinking. If he saw something wrong with adult thinking, he often went his own way.

And of course at that moment I was on that cusp. I was an adult, but I hadn’t truly learned how to exist as an adult yet. Harry had that responsibility from a young age, and he dealt with it poorly at times, but he couldn’t avoid it. I wanted to learn how to do that, to face things head on. Even though I didn’t have a Voldemort (shhhh) in my world for a final showdown with, I wanted to be like Harry and be brave in the face of adversity. I wanted to force myself into this version of myself that would be tough, that would take no prisoners.

But then again, if I were Harry Potter, everything after the final showdown would be anti-climactic. What do you do with the rest of your life if you’ve already done the ultimate? And after Order of the Phoenix was released, and I devoured every word in a matter of days (even though it was the longest book in the collection), that solidified my thinking that the Harry Potter life wasn’t for me. But I could always live vicariously by first finishing the series, and then re-reading it, going back into the world when I wanted, and seeing life through Harry Potter’s eyes.

It always makes my life seem so much simpler, and I thank him, and JK Rowling, for that.

Sam