Opposites Attract But Similarities Sustain

You’ve heard the phrase, “opposites attract,” but is there really a truth to it? I considered myself when approaching this question. I’m outgoing, I’m a hard worker, I’m creative, I’m emotional, and I’m smart. These are my positive attributes. I have a lot of negatives too, but I thought focusing on positives would work for the purposes of this post. Then I thought about my friends and their qualities. For the most part my friends are just like me, and it made me realize that opposites may attract but they don’t sustain. If there are too many differences between you and your friends, what is going to draw you together and keep you together?

When we first meet others, we are either drawn in, repelled, or completely indifferent to them.

If we’re drawn in, what are the reasons? Ladies, you might have been attracted to the bad boy when you first met him, but how many of those boys stuck around for the long run? Gentlemen, perhaps you thought the girl with the pink hair was quirky and different, but how many of you married that girl? When you’re someone shy and demure, maybe you are attracted to someone opposite when you first meet, someone gregarious and outgoing, but how long will that really last? Can you change your true nature to fit in their world? Would you even want to? Would you be satisfied if you did?

Yes, opposites do have the tendency to attract… at first. There’s a reason Romeo and Juliet only knew each other for technically two days, and the entire relationship imploded. Look at Whitney and Bobby and all the drama that surrounded that one. In the end it all becomes a cautionary tale. If you’re too different fundamentally (and I’m talking about personality, not background or ethnicity), the attraction will not hold. We need to be equally yoked to truly enjoy and appreciate each other, to have a dynamic life and a sustainable relationship, be it friends or romantic love.

I think about people I met and was fascinated by because they were so different from me, and I wonder where they are now. There’s a reason we drifted apart, and I’m not naive enough to think it was because we “grew apart.” You don’t grow apart. You just grow into more of yourself. If you’re already so fundamentally different, where do you go but in more of that same direction you’ve always been headed in. You were always growing into more of yourself, and so were they, so don’t be surprised.

But my friends, the ones who have been there for me, and vice versa, they are the ones who share many of the same fundamental personality traits as I do. They may not be outgoing, but they’re all creative, all smart, all hard workers, all true thinkers. When you surround yourself with those types of friends, you’re never bored. There’s always something to do together that you will all enjoy, there’s always an excitement when you get together. Sharing the same traits is not a negative thing. It’s positive in every way.

So, yes. Opposites may very well attract, but it’s similarities that sustain.

Sam