The Birds, The Bees, and Actually Talking About Sex: Parental Advisory

You know how it is when you’re watching a legitimate movie and you start to feel it coming. You know what I mean. It’s when the main characters begin eying each other in “that” way, and you know that sex between them is inevitable. And it almost feels like you’re about to have sex too, because you’re all nervous and sweaty, an odd feeling indeed. But you’re not nervous or sweaty because of impending coitus, well, not yours anyway. You’re nervous and sweaty because you’re suddenly embarrassed. And you don’t even know why. Well, I’m here to tell you why.

From the time we are little, we are told and shown that sex is wrong, something to be hidden, something to be embarrassed about. Our parents, our teachers, and other adults we come in contact with avoid the topic if at all possible. In fact, the only time we really hear about it is when we catch our parents naked and we ask them why girls and boys are different (I’m sure they wished right then that they had splurged for that lock to put on the bathroom door). But even then, when they’re given the perfect opportunity to tell us the mysteries various and sundry, they don’t take it. Instead they tell us some schlock about birds, bees, and pollinating flowers, the furthest thing from sexual relations as there could be.

So, how do we find this stuff out? From friends, from older relatives, and from movies. Yes indeed, from those same movies we eventually become embarrassed about seeing once we’re all grown up and sex is less of a mystery than it once was. But even then we see sex through a lens, which is what makes it embarrassing.

The only time sex isn’t embarrassing is when we are right in the middle of the act itself, and that’s only because our minds are so completely occupied with the act that we can’t focus on being embarrassed. Directly afterwards, though, that nervous, sweaty feeling returns. And don’t think it’s just human nature either, because it isn’t. People who grow up in homes where sex isn’t a taboo subject are much more well-adjusted when it comes to their own bodies and those of others. Sex is natural, and created by god, so why treat it as if it were unnatural just because we were raised with it being a taboo subject in our own homes?

That’s why porn is such a huge industry. People watch it, read it, and stare at it because they are fascinated by something that has never been explained to them. Porn is all about exposing the mystery, trying to get to the bottom (insert joke here) of something that shouldn’t be hidden. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think our children should see a conception on film, or know the harsh terms for sex that are out there. I’m just saying that in our sheltering of them, we do them and ourselves a disservice. Instead, we need to tell them about the beauty of sharing love, not this garbage about birds, bees, and flowers.

And that brings us full circle. If we weren’t told from an early age that sex is wrong, maybe we could make up our own minds on it as we get older instead of letting our friends and the media make up our minds for us. And maybe the next time we see that legitimate movie with the sex scenes, we won’t get embarrassed. We will appreciate it for what it is.

Sam

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