Paving Our Own Path: Getting Married, The Un-Traditional Way

Every once in a green moon, I wonder what it would have been like to have a traditional wedding. But then again, I didn’t meet my wife in a traditional way, we didn’t date in traditional fashion, and our first few months “together” certainly weren’t traditional either. So if we had gotten married in front of a hundred friends and family, that would have been the odd happening indeed, no matter how traditional it seems to others. In fact, on our wedding day we both wore jeans and tee-shirts, the officiator offered us the speedy version, and we were out of there in about twenty minutes. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Looking back on it, and seeing what so many others have gone through with the planning, the implementation, the monetary costs, and the sheer size of a wedding, I have no doubt in my mind that we did the right thing. Instead of doing all of the pomp and circumstance, we saved our funds for our ultimate Ireland trip (post coming soon). And if you’re talking about marrying someone, joining two as one, what better than having that money benefit the two of us, and the two of us alone? But, too many couples feel the pressure from family (and sometimes friends, too) to do it up church-style, and they bow to that pressure. Others, though, the ones who have always dreamed of the to-do, they are the ones who actually enjoy the planning, the implementation, and everything else that comes with an affair of that size and scope.

What I loved, though, was that after we got back from Ireland, we had a reception for close family and friends, a nice little affair in our backyard. We knew they too would want to celebrate our marriage with gifts and fellowship, and that was fine by us. It gave them a chance to share in our joy, but we didn’t really have to plan for it. My mother-in-law took care of most of the details. However, we did get to put our small touches on the reception.

Now, keep in mind this was ten years ago so CD burners were relatively new to computers, and we had just gotten one (it was very expensive, too). I had the brilliant idea to create CD favors, full of songs that we both loved, sort of an homage to the fact that our relationship started because of music. In the end, we created together twelve playlists, compilations that we separated based on themes important to our relationship. Then, the guests to our reception could pick which one they wanted. I think we made 80 CDs in all, so that there were many options to choose from, and so there was no fighting over a particularly popular mix. They were a big hit. I could imagine in today’s world, with today’s technology, having CD favors might be a bit lame, but they worked well for us.

The second touch we put on the

reception was actually our invitations. Now, if you know my wife, you’ll know that she’s amazing when it comes to crafts. Well, she got this idea in her head about creating specialized invites directly from us, with a photograph of us (from Ireland), a quote from the band that got us together, and various other touches that were sweet. I was even involved in choosing the font for the quote, the positioning of it and the photo on the cards, and on the card background color. And in the end I think they came out beautifully. They were truly a testament to our love, and by including a quote from “our song” and a picture from our honeymoon, it included others in what made us especially unique.

And now, thinking back on it as our ten year wedding anniversary is coming up rapidly, and having the perspective to see it from this far down the road, I wouldn’t change a thing. I asked my wife the other day if she ever regretted not having the big wedding, and she laughed. That’s my girl.

Sam