Tag: relationships

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Bullet Proof

The glass sees both ways An invitation to stare But never sight unseen Hatred thick like smoke Solidifying the bond This overwhelming need To be better than Instead of inferior Though I know better The judgement scales Finding me light as air I know she sees through me Past glass and skin Through bone and … Continue reading Bullet Proof

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Why Guys Cheat

cheaters_car-13287Uh, because they’re stupid? I mean, I don’t want to dumb it down for you, but at its core that’s the honest-to-goodness truth. Look at the “good guys” out there and you’ll notice a recurring theme. Most of them are happy. They are expressive with their significant others. They smile more often than not. That comes from being fulfilled in their relationships, and it’s pretty obvious to spot. The guy who spends so much time complaining that “his woman” makes him do this and that, that’s the stupid guy who is probably going to cheat.

  • Cheating takes two people.

I’ve heard that one enough times, and it’s absolutely true. It takes the cheater and the cheatee (the person being cheated on), because obviously something is missing from their relationship. When your relationship is fulfilling your needs, there is much less temptation to look across to that green grass that you might think is greener than yours. And the issue that comes up most often when needs aren’t met is that the person feeling slighted goes elsewhere to get those needs met. When of course what needs to happen is communication, but for some reason the cheater communicates with others instead. That creates a bond that just spirals out of control after the fact.

  • Why buy the cow?

This has always seemed like a rather crass phrase to me, one meant to trivialize an important fact: that many people simply don’t want to take responsibility for themselves and for their own actions. And it goes beyond sex, but to emotional connections outside of sex as well. If there is someone willing to connect with you either physically, emotionally, or both, and that person is not your significant other, ask yourself one question. Would you feel comfortable talking about what this person does for you to your significant other? If the answer is no, then you’re drinking milk, my friend, and there is no cow in sight. Continue reading “Why Guys Cheat”

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Possession

“See, I know that you may be just a little bit jealous of me. ‘Cause you’re blind if you can’t see that his love is all in me.” ~The Boy is Mine (Monica & Brandy)

cheaterAm I the only one who wonders about people who cheat and are then found out? I mean, I hear about it all the time through social media, from the celebrities down to some of my Facebook friends who seem hell bent on letting everyone know their personal business. And most times I read or hear about it there’s this theme of anger towards the “other” person, with a protective bent towards the one who actually did the cheating.

As you can see, even in songs, it seems to work out that way. Yes, you know he cheated, but you still want him, and you’ll fight the other girl in order to make sure he stays in your bed. But why? What is it about these guys that makes you want them so much, so badly that you’ll either overlook what he did, or think that even if he does come back to you that he’ll stop straying? What happens to self-respect in the whole scenario?

It’s called love, or possession, whichever one floats your boat. If it’s love then it’s decidedly one-way, and if it’s possession it might go from one to the other and back again because possession is addictive. It’s like a drug, and once it gets under your skin it’s so difficult to scratch and claw it back out. And it hurts like hell, too, because possession hardly ever exists without a fight in the first place. We fight for what we think we deserve, but once we get it we take it for granted. It happens all too often.

And that’s why people cheat, too, isn’t it? Continue reading “Possession”

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Reason to Believe

Rod-Stewart-Reason-To-Believe-430727“If I gave you time to change my mind, I’d tried to leave all the past behind. Knowin’ that you lied straight-faced while I cried, still I look to find a reason to believe.” – Rod Stewart

I want to believe the best in others. In fact, anytime I meet someone knew I give them the benefit of the doubt, even if I’ve heard things about them that might give others pause. I guess I’m just naive maybe, but I think I should get to know someone myself before judging them. Too often I think we tend to judge others based on hearsay instead of talking to them first.

I’ll admit I’m not perfect. Maybe that’s why I want to give others a chance, because I wish they wouldn’t pre-judge me. That’s one of the glories of human nature, though, and too many have bought into the theory that if enough people say something that makes it true. Too often those mistaken beliefs will cloud our vision. That’s not to say that sometimes those rumours and assertions aren’t true, because, yes, sometimes they are, but let me find that out for myself.

Perhaps that’s why I have several friends who don’t seem to have any other friends besides me. Which is okay by me. It’s like finding diamonds in the rough, like I have a secret society of superheroes who have powers others simply don’t appreciate. Now, that doesn’t mean I let people walk all over me. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, but I do give people that benefit of the doubt. I believe wholeheartedly in the adage, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

But romantic relationships are different, though, right? We guard our hearts like a vault. But I will admit I haven’t. Continue reading “Reason to Believe”

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Growing Up Seventh-Day Adventist: Unequally Yoked

opposites-attract“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14 (English Standard Version)

Growing up Seventh-Day Adventist, it was only natural to wonder about the nature of male/female relationships. Everybody growing up wonders about that, but for the SDA it was almost like sacred territory. We saw couples at church, but we were only privy to their public relationship with the Lord, not to their private relationship with each other. But you know how kids are. We talked, and it was pretty easy to place the couples we saw into three categories:

  1. The Ones Who Were Genuinely Happy
  2. The Ones Who Were Pretending
  3. The Ones Who Weren’t Even Pretending

The ones who weren’t even pretending were the ones who we never even saw together. Either the wife would bring the kids to church, the husband would bring the kids to church, or they would both be there, but never in the same place at the same time. These couples tended to be middle-aged with young children. The ones who were pretending could always be seen together, but they were never actually found communicating with each other. And those who were genuinely happy had a seamless nature to how they went about their business while at the same time tending to each other. Those couples were usually smiling, and had an ease to them that we could tell the other couples obviously envied.

But one thing that was hardly ever in question was that each couple we saw at church were in fact baptized Seventh-Day Adventists. While there may have been degrees of faith, the faith itself was never in doubt. Apparently this isn’t so clear-cut in some other religions, but I didn’t know anything about that then. I assumed that everyone who was married was “equally yoked,” meaning that they were of the same religion. I also assumed back then that when I grew up I, too, would marry a Seventh-Day Adventist and raise Seventh-Day Adventist children together with her. That assumption would prove false. Continue reading “Growing Up Seventh-Day Adventist: Unequally Yoked”