Posted on

Why Guys Cheat

cheaters_car-13287Uh, because they’re stupid? I mean, I don’t want to dumb it down for you, but at its core that’s the honest-to-goodness truth. Look at the “good guys” out there and you’ll notice a recurring theme. Most of them are happy. They are expressive with their significant others. They smile more often than not. That comes from being fulfilled in their relationships, and it’s pretty obvious to spot. The guy who spends so much time complaining that “his woman” makes him do this and that, that’s the stupid guy who is probably going to cheat.

  • Cheating takes two people.

I’ve heard that one enough times, and it’s absolutely true. It takes the cheater and the cheatee (the person being cheated on), because obviously something is missing from their relationship. When your relationship is fulfilling your needs, there is much less temptation to look across to that green grass that you might think is greener than yours. And the issue that comes up most often when needs aren’t met is that the person feeling slighted goes elsewhere to get those needs met. When of course what needs to happen is communication, but for some reason the cheater communicates with others instead. That creates a bond that just spirals out of control after the fact.

  • Why buy the cow?

This has always seemed like a rather crass phrase to me, one meant to trivialize an important fact: that many people simply don’t want to take responsibility for themselves and for their own actions. And it goes beyond sex, but to emotional connections outside of sex as well. If there is someone willing to connect with you either physically, emotionally, or both, and that person is not your significant other, ask yourself one question. Would you feel comfortable talking about what this person does for you to your significant other? If the answer is no, then you’re drinking milk, my friend, and there is no cow in sight. Continue reading “Why Guys Cheat”

Posted on

Recognition

blankstare“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

There’s just something about faces. You know, the juxtaposition of eyes, nose, and a mouth, ears on the side, and whatever type of chin someone possesses. I have seen a plethora of faces in my lifetime. They come and go quickly through my periphery, but for the most part they aren’t forgotten. In fact, I remember most faces I’ve ever seen, which is really no exaggeration. Sometimes I’m proud of that fact, and other times it makes me dreadfully sad.

I saw a man today who I haven’t seen in over five years, but I recognized him right off. However, I didn’t approach him to catch up on old times. For one, we were merely acquaintances way back then, and for another, he obviously didn’t remember me. I used to take that personally, wondering how someone could just forget me like that, but admittedly I wasn’t a huge part of his life, and/or memorable enough to make the list of people he would automatically recall. I could have taken the time to refresh his memory, but what would have been the point? “Oh yeah, I know you now.”

What makes me sad, though, are the times when I see someone who was significant to me in some former life but who has no idea who I am when we pass. Sometimes I even say hi, and they look at me like I’m a total stranger, even though for a solid block of time we were as close as two peas in a banana peel. For some people is it just easier to move on and forget, and is that a positive or a negative thing? Continue reading “Recognition”

Posted on

Strange Frequencies

I am two human beings One who dreams of change And finds solace in silence Another who stands still Who screams at the sky Waiting for answers That never seem to come Arguing with the other To find relevance in sin To cross transgression In order to come out clean That’s what we all want … Continue reading Strange Frequencies

Posted on

Checked Out: Week 19

I just realized not just that I read a lot of series books, but that there are also a plethora of series books out there, more so than it seems like there were back in the day. We’ve come a long way from Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew. I even recall reading the massive horde … Continue reading Checked Out: Week 19

Posted on

Games & Rhetoric

Student at teachers deskI always did well in school because I knew how to play the games, and because I bought into the rhetoric. I mean, teachers are still people, right? And they want the same type of accolades everyone else does. So, it was easy to be that good kid. You know the one, the one who the other students call the teacher’s pet, the one who sits near the front of the class and likes to answer questions.

Well, I’ll tell you a secret. I didn’t like to answer questions, but when the teacher knew she could use me to “bail her out” when no one else would admit to knowing an answer, that can certainly come back into her mind come time to grade a test, or an essay, or a research project.

Now, that’s not to say I’m not book smart, because I am, but you know as well as I do that it’s not always the smartest people who get ahead. It’s most times the people who can see advantageous situations and put themselves smack dab in the middle of them. In school, that was me. Straight A’s throughout elementary and middle school, and mostly A’s (when I felt like it) in high school. I had a pleasant attitude. More teachers were nice to me than students, and the work itself was easy.

Maybe in the end that was the biggest problem, though. If I had ever had to actually work hard for grades maybe I would have appreciated the exercise of education more after the fact. As it was, I was able to play the games, to get the grades, and to be pleased with myself, but only because I bought into the rhetoric that schools sell, the rhetoric that says school is an important building block for life.

Yet, when looking at it objectively, there are so many people who didn’t even graduate from high school who are doing fantastic things in life, who are healthy, happy, and successful by most yardsticks’ lengths. And don’t even get me started on the number of people who have gone on to higher education only to find out that the job market is saturated with people who already have the same degree they are so proud of obtaining. Continue reading “Games & Rhetoric”