Category: Friends

Posted on

We Were On a Break: Friends After 10 Years

friendsSeriesFinale1
Has it truly been 10 years?

10 years ago, to the day, my favorite television show ever, Friends, ended in grand style with a two-part finale that wrapped everything up much better than a lot of finales have before or since. Of course, being such a huge fan, I wanted several certain things to happen, and I had my fingers crossed for:

  • Rachel and Ross to end up together
  • Monica and Chandler to have their kids
  • Joey to not be left behind
  • Closure on this part of their lives
  • Hope for good things to happen in their future

attachment-4669In fact, 10 years later I imagine Ross and Rachel have two more beautiful children, and Ben is a good big brother to them all, even though he’s in college in Rhode Island so he doesn’t see them nearly as much as he would wish. Joey’s attempt at restarting his acting career gave him a chance to reconnect with his sister and his nephew in Los Angeles, then he lands an amazing part in a new sitcom as the headmaster of a school for young boys. The show is still a huge international hit. Monica and Chandler raised the twins well, and then 3 years after their birth Monica got pregnant despite the odds and ironically had another set of twins they called Joey and Phoebe.

Their kids are good friends with Rachel and Ross’s kids. In fact, their parents joked that they might end up living across the hall from each other in New York City someday. Continue reading “We Were On a Break: Friends After 10 Years”

Posted on

Reason to Believe

Rod-Stewart-Reason-To-Believe-430727“If I gave you time to change my mind, I’d tried to leave all the past behind. Knowin’ that you lied straight-faced while I cried, still I look to find a reason to believe.” – Rod Stewart

I want to believe the best in others. In fact, anytime I meet someone knew I give them the benefit of the doubt, even if I’ve heard things about them that might give others pause. I guess I’m just naive maybe, but I think I should get to know someone myself before judging them. Too often I think we tend to judge others based on hearsay instead of talking to them first.

I’ll admit I’m not perfect. Maybe that’s why I want to give others a chance, because I wish they wouldn’t pre-judge me. That’s one of the glories of human nature, though, and too many have bought into the theory that if enough people say something that makes it true. Too often those mistaken beliefs will cloud our vision. That’s not to say that sometimes those rumours and assertions aren’t true, because, yes, sometimes they are, but let me find that out for myself.

Perhaps that’s why I have several friends who don’t seem to have any other friends besides me. Which is okay by me. It’s like finding diamonds in the rough, like I have a secret society of superheroes who have powers others simply don’t appreciate. Now, that doesn’t mean I let people walk all over me. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, but I do give people that benefit of the doubt. I believe wholeheartedly in the adage, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

But romantic relationships are different, though, right? We guard our hearts like a vault. But I will admit I haven’t. Continue reading “Reason to Believe”

Posted on

Friend DNA

Double Helix DNAWhat makes some people more interesting than others? I know generally from the first few moments I meet someone whether or not they will mesh with me as friends. Yes, I believe in friends at first sight. There’s just a connection that is either made or not right off the bat, and I think that’s true of most people, actually. I know that some of my best friends throughout the years have shared that similarity. That’s not to say that some friends I’ve met didn’t share that connection from the start. Those are what I call “hardworking” friendships. But there’s just something about the friend DNA.

DNA is the basic component of life. It accounts for not only the color of one’s skin but also for the level of one’s temperament. It affects a person’s sense of humor, musical ability, and competitive spirit. That also means some people are hardwired to be shy around newcomers, to be afraid of public speaking, or to be outgoing. It can even affect the filters we have when it comes to ourselves. Are we delusional about our strengths and weaknesses or do we own up to them and fight through those weaknesses to become stronger as individuals?

All of that can affect what kind of friend we end up being, or what kinds of people will complement us as friends. Notice that I used the word “can,” because no one can predict what will happen when people come together, but just like when addictive personalities get together, the result can be negative for both people involved.

So what does your friend DNA say about you? Do you get along better with people who are most like you, people who are most unlike you, or people who are in-between? Is there even an absolute? Continue reading “Friend DNA”

Posted on

Friends With Benefits

friends_with_benefits_c“What exactly does that phrase mean, ‘friends with benefits?’ Does he provide her with health insurance?” -Sheldon Cooper

I have no idea who coined the phrase, but it’s one that I’ve never felt really fit: friends with benefits. Of course I know what it means. It’s been bandied about a lot in the past ten years or so, yet I’m curious who the people are who honestly believe that having sex with friends is supposedly advantageous. I have always been of the opinion that sex complicates things that used to be easy, which is no benefit, no benefit at all.

True friends are hard to find, and even harder to keep, at least for most of us. Friendship is a complex construct that forges a connection between individuals who may be as distinctive from each other as snowflakes. And it can be quite tenuous as well, with the smallest differences driving a wedge between people. But the one thing that a friendship should give you is a sense of community, that acceptance that few things can give. So why jeopardize something that is so delicate and worthy of protection at all costs? Continue reading “Friends With Benefits”

Posted on

They Look Like Me

172ed83726173dc62f915b2c297cdfafHow do we recognize others? By a walk, by a tone, by a cadence in their bones. By a feeling we get when they enter a room, or the smell of them, like cologne or perfume. By the way their smile reaches their eyes, and how seeing them makes the time fly. By the reflection of them we see in ourselves, or the hope that blooms, the spring that wells. Do we recognize others in the things that they do? Or do they all just look like you?

We spend our whole lives walking around in a world full of people who are as different from us as night is from day. We talk to them, and laugh when them, and cry with them too. They do us favors, and we return them. We connect with them on a certain level, and depending on who they are as individuals, they relate to us on the same level. And while we are all different, it is human nature to search for ways of connection, for the ways we are the same, and we cling to those similarities because those are mirrors that reflect ourselves back to us. Because human nature is also selfish.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that every person in the world is selfish. Many people work extremely hard to be selfless, or to care for others above themselves, and that’s highly admirable. It is those people we usually recognize because they’re different. Their souls resonate in a different way to us because their caring is evident. But the vast majority of people we come in contact with aren’t that way, so we can relate to them, we can dissect them and find the parts that work like ours. They are familiar, and that’s comforting. Continue reading “They Look Like Me”