Friend DNA

Double Helix DNAWhat makes some people more interesting than others? I know generally from the first few moments I meet someone whether or not they will mesh with me as friends. Yes, I believe in friends at first sight. There’s just a connection that is either made or not right off the bat, and I think that’s true of most people, actually. I know that some of my best friends throughout the years have shared that similarity. That’s not to say that some friends I’ve met didn’t share that connection from the start. Those are what I call “hardworking” friendships. But there’s just something about the friend DNA.

DNA is the basic component of life. It accounts for not only the color of one’s skin but also for the level of one’s temperament. It affects a person’s sense of humor, musical ability, and competitive spirit. That also means some people are hardwired to be shy around newcomers, to be afraid of public speaking, or to be outgoing. It can even affect the filters we have when it comes to ourselves. Are we delusional about our strengths and weaknesses or do we own up to them and fight through those weaknesses to become stronger as individuals?

All of that can affect what kind of friend we end up being, or what kinds of people will complement us as friends. Notice that I used the word “can,” because no one can predict what will happen when people come together, but just like when addictive personalities get together, the result can be negative for both people involved.

So what does your friend DNA say about you? Do you get along better with people who are most like you, people who are most unlike you, or people who are in-between? Is there even an absolute? No, there isn’t. Think about your collection of friends. So many people talk about opposites attracting, but most of our friends share at least several key beliefs with us. That’s the glue that really attracts. Even people who seem like polar opposites, if you dig deeply enough you can see the common core beliefs that permeate them all.

dv168066aI think about my own friends and the DNA that drew us together and that helps to keep us friends. This is the DNA that I have always had, but haven’t always embraced, the key strains that tie me together as an individual. My friend DNA consists of:

  • love of family
  • competitive spirit
  • thirst for knowledge
  • love of music
  • sarcastic wit
  • good listener
  • sense of loyalty
  • creativity

I’m a writer, so I like to think about things and put them down after I’ve analyzed them. It’s the way I am. Some other people act first and think later. There might be nothing wrong with either approach, and I could be good friends with someone who operates that way, if we both share one or more core beliefs. Because friends are people who are there for each other regardless of many other things, as long as they have that primary strong connection.

Having someone else choose you as a friend is a humbling experience because it means they decided that you fit the criteria necessary to mesh with their own friend DNA. And they should feel the same when you pick them as your friend for the exact same reason. It means don’t ever take them for granted. It means strengthen those connections that drew you together in the first place by being there for each other, by protecting that bond that brought you close, and nurturing it carefully.

Some people are inherently more interesting because even if we don’t recognize it, our friend DNA does. And that’s enough for at least a start. What we do with it from there is up to us.

Sam

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