Chatting With Lexi: On the Farm

I try my hardest not to think about my time working on a farm. You can understand how me, a city boy, blanches every time a farm animal is mentioned, right? But my children are different, and I think they get it from their mother (who is a bona fide country girl through and through). They walk around here barefoot, they like Travis Tritt, and they like all things farm-related. Of course sometimes they might like things they don’t really know too much about.

Hmmmm. As always, Lexi and I have a lot of our most compelling conversations when it’s my bath night, and tonight was no exception.

Me: What did you do today?

Lexi: I had fun with the animals.

Me: What animals?

Lexi: Um, there were goats, and a llama. And my cow.

Me: You have a cow?

Lexi: Yeah, I have a cow. He puts out the fertilizer.

Me: Your cow is a boy?

Lexi: No, silly. He’s a girl.

Me: Uh, okay. How does she put out the fertilizer?

Lexi: You know.

Me: I do, but I’m not sure you do.

Lexi: Of course I do. It comes from his milk.

Me: His milk?

Lexi: Yeah, but first you have to get the milk out of him.

Me: That sounds like it would be hard.

Lexi: No, it just takes a stool. Really easy.

Me: And then what?

Lexi: Well, you mix salt with his milk.

Me: Who?

Lexi: Whoever is there.

Me: Does the cow mix the salt in?

Lexi: No, of course not silly! That’s funny. The cow mixes the salt in himself.

Me: Herself?

Lexi: Whatever.

Me: Then what?

Lexi: Then we spread it near my tree to help it grow.

Me: Wait. You have a cow AND a tree?

Lexi: My tree is really small right now, but it’s going to get big later.

Me: Is your cow small too?

Lexi: No, silly! It’s the size of your car.

Me: But my car can’t mix salt with its milk.

Lexi: [laughing] That would be funny if it could.

Me: What’s your cow’s name?

Lexi: Cow.

Me: How original.

Lexi: Yup.

Me: You ever have goat cheese?

Lexi: [laughing] Silly, goats can’t make cheese.

Me: And cows can?

Lexi: No. Cheese comes from the store.

Me: Yes. Yes it does.

Sam