That’s where the plan fell apart because my dentist refused to promise me a gold tooth. Apparently you only get gold when you’re a gangster or something. No wonder not too many people claim to have actually caught a leprechaun in this day and age. If only more gangsters believed in the magic of the little green folk. Of course that still wouldn’t help me get my hands on one, and there is no way I could pass for a gangster, so that plan was out.
Anyone have a key to Fort Knox? Seriously, though, I knew I needed a different plan and one dropped right into my lap the next day when I saw that the Olympics was on TV. A strangely anorexic young lady was standing on a podium with a medallion around her neck, and I’d be a monkey’s uncle if it wasn’t gold! It took me about an hour to figure out what she did to get that gold medallion, but I finally found out. Thus began my rhythmic gymnastics training.
Luckily for me, you don’t have to be in shape to do it. I figured while I was learning how to throw those ribbons and giant balls the leprechaun would be busy finding other gold or sleeping. They must be awful sleepy sometimes with all the running around they do either rushing to hoard gold or trying to escape greedy kids wanting to capture them for wishes. So while my leprechaun friend was probably fast asleep I was in the gym throwing and catching a basketball and an old scarf. I could almost feel the gold in my grubby hands.
The whole time I was in training, though, I was also working out a complex plan on how to actually trap that wily leprechaun when I finally had that gold medal in my mitts. I knew he would be expecting a trap, so it would have to be a complex enterprise, and anticipating was never a trait I felt I owned. So I went to my friend Gail after math class, because she’s a genius when it comes to thinking ahead, but when I told her that I needed a leprechaun trap she just couldn’t stop laughing. Perhaps she was delirious with excitement over getting three wishes, or jealous because I was going to get them and she wasn’t. Regardless, she definitely wasn’t going to help me.
But LeRoy, the boy with the coke-bottle glasses who eats a lot of cheese, said he would help me when he overheard us talking in the hall. In fact, he sort of looked like a leprechaun with his red hair and short stature. That should have been my first clue. But it wasn’t, and I gladly enlisted his help to trap that leprechaun. I left the design to him and I headed back to the gym, intent on getting good enough to go to the Olympics.
I guess I should have been thinking about what I would do after I trapped him, and how I could ever hope to repay LeRoy for his help, but that would all come later.