realisticlove.com

okcupidWouldn’t it be refreshing to see a dating site where people had to tell it like it is instead of being able to lie about every little thing?

I’m a 65-year-old, balding man with a predilection for scratching myself often, whenever the mood strikes. Been engaged five times but none of them ever turned into marriage. Got eight kids, though, by six different women, none of whom I’m on speaking terms with now. But I’m a good catch, so inbox me for more details. Oh, and the photos of me are all selfies done yesterday in good lighting so you can clearly see my beer gut. And I’m broke, so if we get together you’re paying.

I would kill to see a site like that out there. I mean, maybe there’s someone for this guy who doesn’t mind all the issues and who would give him a chance anyway. I often hear people talk about how they don’t judge others, but maybe that goes for everything except love. If there was a site called realisticlove.com perhaps no one would ever find love there, if everyone was like the guy above anyway.

Of course being completely honest about ourselves online is more difficult than roping a bull in a kitchen. Because having the screen between you and the other person makes it so easy to fib just a little bit. You have a large mid-section… just say you’re “full-figured.” You wear huge pop-bottle glasses… ditch them for the already airbrushed photo. You are already in an unfulfilling relationship… just type “single,” and when you find someone else willing to tolerate you, that’s your exit.

I’m a 24-year-old girl with a thick mustache and chronic halitosis. I’m huge into knitting, and I snore like a tractor running over rocks. I can’t go out into the sunlight because my skin is way too sensitive for that, and I live on a steady diet of snails imported from Israel. They’re wicked expensive, but my mother, who I still live with, pays for them with the money she gets from selling her foodstamps to the couple who live in the box. If you want to get together sometime I am free whenever. Hit me up.

dating-profileI remember when I first went to match.com, and it seemed like every single person there liked “long walks on the beach,” and wanted “a significant relationship with someone who shares my beliefs.” All the photos looked like models, too, except for a couple, and of course those had significantly fewer “responses” than the ones of all those models. Even the names were masked under pseudonyms like “megwantsmore” and “dreamluvr.”

Then eharmony came along, followed by a bevy of competing sites like okcupid, j-date, christiansingles, and the list goes on. It’s almost become too easy to keep the lies going on multiple sites all the time. I think the common thought is that by the time you physically meet the other person will already be attracted to the personality you’ve shown them and won’t be turned off by the fact that you look nothing like your photo, and most of your likes and dislikes listed on the site aren’t true.

I’m a 37-year-old male seeking friends to spend time with doing exciting new pursuits. I’m interested in model trains, seeing artistic films, and doing puzzles, but I’m up for just about anything so long as it gets me actively engaged. I write poetry that can sometimes be seen as dark, and my hair is starting to go gray (I don’t plan on coloring it). Family is most important to me, but I definitely value the company of good friends. It’s been hard for me to make friends, though. Maybe you’re the friend I’ve been waiting for. Message me, and we can get a dialogue going.

That of course brings up another angle that this sight could explore. While okcupid purports to be good for starting new friendships, it obviously caters to those looking for romantic entanglements. realisticlove.com could be the place for people to explore all aspects of love, including friend love, which can be more enduring than romantic love. It’s hard for a lot of adults to make new friends, but friends are an important part of your life, and should be. Plus, it’s a lot easier to present your honest self when looking for friendships vs. romantic relationships.

That’s what can change things on these dating sites. If everyone who signed up kept in mind what they would say to a potential friend, I think the success rates would be incredible. Because then everyone would be honest, presenting the true aspects of themselves instead of what they think will get someone to inbox them. Believe me, everything would be much better in the end if we tried being honest. Even online.

Sam

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