Did you know that in today’s society we place a premium on honesty, so much so that many people now feel empowered to say whatever they feel about others, no matter how insensitive it may be? Now, you know me. I don’t believe that being politically correct is the best way to go about living your life, but I do think there’s a limit to what you should say in public, whether in person or on-line. You see, with the invention of social media, more people are saying what they think about others in forums where those people can see them without getting to look their accusers in the eye. It empowers cowards who wish to be insensitive. Should it? This was our conversation around the water cooler this week.
People lie until they want to hurt someone else. Then they finally tell the truth.
I love this statement, because it definitely has a lot of truth to it. Too many of us spend too much of our time trying to say and do what other people want to hear and see from us. Only when we are caught in our lies do we fess up to the truth. I know this one intimately, having crafted an intricate web of lies for so long it was nearly indistinguishable even to me as a web of lies. But I am lucky, in that when I finally began to see what had been happening, how I had lied even to myself, that I worked hard to effect change. Now, I am honest to a fault, except…
When being true to yourself, remember the Hippocratic oath. First, do no harm.
If your sole reason for revealing a truth is to hurt someone else, think before you reveal that truth. Or if someone has taken you into their confidence, it was for a reason. Don’t destroy confidence. It is a hard thing to gain, and it is a nearly impossible thing to regain. Too often people have given away others’ secrets for no reason but revenge, or to inflict pain on someone you once called a friend. It’s hard to truly gain perspective on how many people that hurts, but it’s always a large group. Ripples go a long way.
Think about the long view when considering being sensitive or insensitive.
Too often people look at the “now,” the current situation, but how would you like your kids to read about what you did twenty years from now and judge you for it? Imagine it as front page news. Would you feel proud of what you did or said? And keep in mind that writing things on-line about someone else, while it may help to shield you from the person you’re indicting, still puts a stain on your reputation, if not with others, then with yourself. If you think you will be able to live with yourself twenty years from now, then go right ahead and be insensitive to others. But for us, we decided that we choose the sensitive path, regardless of what others do. This way our conscience is clear.
Would you be sensitive to others if you thought about the long view?
Sam
Sam's Online Journal 
WOW, Sam! Even when I try to do the loving thing, I mess up. I agree with everything in the blog, but would you agree that it is hard to do the right thing? I do not want to be known as a great discipliner or a great enforcer of truth (That job’s taken by deity and I try not to step in His way). But I do want to be known as one who loves lovely and unlovely alike. Why should it matter. And those who force the issue to tell someone they need a makeover or should lose a few pounds and want you to reinforce their position….TROUBLEMAKERS…PEACEBREAKERS….
Oh, sorry, I guess you hit a sore point I have. But that was your purpose, wasn’t it? You clever writer, you….
I agree that doing the right thing is incredibly difficult at times. It’s really easy to go with the crowd, to not make waves, to be a part of the herd. Doing the right thing means taking risks that, if we’re not thinking of the long view, can just define us in the moment. People judge. No problem about hitting a sore point. I like the conversation. 🙂
So do I. Peace be unto you and yours!
well said my friend!
Thanks, Steph.
My personal opinion is not necessarily truth. We all need to help each other, not bring each other down.
First, do no harm. Yes, I agree. That makes wonderful sense. In this world of everyone feeling entitled to their “opinion” it becomes lost, that opinion doesn’t equal truth. You are quite deep, I’ve noticed. Thank you for interacting on my blog. It helps me think in a deeper way. Helping each other. 🙂
You can be honest without being hurtful. I think people give their opinion without being asked, and therefore are being spiteful. Not everyone wants to know exactly how you feel about them! But if you do give your opinion, be honest but choose your words carefully. They say offence is taken not given, but I’m sure if the intention is to offend, the person on the receiving end will feel it! x
Too many people are hurtful these days under the guise of “I’m just being honest!” I agree that we need to consider our intentions when being honest. And if we ever catch ourselves saying “No offense…” Just don’t finish that sentence. x
Hah yes definitely. “No offence but……” Always gonna end badly! X
“No offense, but those pants make you look like a blimp.” Uh, how can that not be taken offensively? LOL. X
Indeed! (I hope the dont make me look like a blimp)
Nah. Your pants fit just fine. 😉