For the Love of Winnie Cooper

I’ll admit it. I was in love with Winnie Cooper. Every Wednesday night at eight o’clock she entered my world and refused to leave until eight thirty, a vision in bell bottoms and flowered-print shirts, with the cutest glasses I had ever seen on another human being. Yes, it hurt that she was in love with that Kevin Arnold kid, but I knew that if she ever met me she would fall head over heels for me and forget all about that other kid. She was cute in a way that hadn’t even been invented yet, divinely enticing while being irresistibly innocent at the same time. I was in love with Winnie Cooper… and she wasn’t even real.

That was my problem back then. I was hung up on characters in TV shows as if they were real, and while thinking about the objects of my affection as a child, seven of the top 10 fit this description, and here they are in no particular order:

10. Blair Warner – I was attracted to her because she was stuck up, she knew it, but she kept doing it anyway. Talk about staying true to yourself. And she was pretty easy on the eyes too.

9. Debbie Gibson* – There was something dynamic about a young girl who wasn’t afraid to pour her soul out on paper, and then sing songs crafted from those words to thousands upon thousands of people. No, she didn’t have the greatest voice, but she had an honest soul that shined through in everything she sang.

8. Carol Seaver – There was something… hot about a smart girl. Sure, she lorded it up over her brothers (and also, occasionally her parents), but that was okay because she was still likeable, a trait that was missing from someone like a Mallory Keaton (who, sadly, doesn’t make the list).

7. Samantha “Sam” Micelli – What can I say about Sam? It was cool that we shared the same name, but that was about the only thing similar about us. She was a tough girl, but she was gorgeous too, an interesting combination. She loved her family, and that too was endearing, but most times I was simply focused on her eyes.

6. My cousin Marlo* – I know, she was my cousin, but we were fourth cousins, and to me at that age it might as well have meant we weren’t even cousins. Plus, I only saw her once every couple of years when she would visit with her mom from the South. There was something about her accent that made me sweet on her.

5. Denise Huxtable – She was the misfit daughter, the one who didn’t fit in, and that’s one of the reasons I felt for her. I understood what it was like to not feel like you fit in, and that made her even more attractive to me. It didn’t hurt that her family had quite  a bit of money either.

4. Kelly Kapowski – Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. From the start, I was a huge fan of Kelly’s. I mean, what wasn’t to like? She was a cheerleader, a girl who always tried to do the right thing, and the most beautiful girl in school. When she smiled, even though it wasn’t to me, it was easy to believe it was. Ah, Kelly.

3. Kelly Taylor – Yes, I guess you can say I liked the Kellys. There was something about Kelly Taylor that instantly drew me in. Maybe it was that she seemed so confused, so lost in her environment, even though she was born and raised there. Or it was the harsh way she was treated by her mother. Or maybe even the knock-down, drag-outs with her “best friend,” Brenda Walsh. But I felt for her, and that helped the attraction grow.

2. Shannon Miller* – Wow, what that girl could with those uneven bars was incredible. She had a graceful elegance about her, but that was mixed with a steely resolve and a passion for what she did like no other. She remains my favorite gymnast ever, and she has aged very well (she’s a year younger than me).

1. Winnie Cooper – The really interesting thing about Winnie was that she grew into herself through the course of her time in my life. She was so timid at first, and didn’t know where she fit in the world, or even how she fit into her body, but she learned, and what an amazing learning experience it was. She was number one in my book then, the number one object of my affection as a child, and I have a feeling she always will be.

Sam