I often wonder what it would be like to be an extra in a movie or TV show. I mean, they’re on screen and you see them, but you don’t really see them. And when you do glance at them they seem to be deep in conversation with other extras, and I wonder what they’re really talking about. Maybe they’re just pretending to talk, like the American Idol contestants lip sync to the songs they prerecorded in the opening montage before every results show. Or maybe they’re comparing recipes for a spinach quiche or guacamole dip, or whatever. I sometimes try to read their lips, but it’s too difficult when the main actors won’t just shut up long enough, so on occasion I put the show on mute to try and follow along. I know it’s a strange thing to think about, but when I’m watching a show like Days of Our Lives and I see those people walking around behind John and Marlena and wonder what they’re really saying, it seems normal.
“I wonder what we’re doing after the show.”
“I don’t know, but why is John so short? He doesn’t look that way on the TV.”
“As long as we go somewhere and get drunk I really don’t care.”
“But look at his feet. They’re freakishly small.”
“Why are you even looking at his feet? We’re on TV.”
“We’re not on TV yet, idiot. This is just the read-through.”
“Oh yeah, so what are we doing after the show?”
“I’m going to buy a giant pretzel.”
“That is soooo 1985. Now laugh like I said something funny.”
“That’s not your line.”
“We don’t have lines, idiot. We’re extras.”
“Well, I had a line once. It was on an episode of Frasier, back in ’96.”
“I’m sure you did an amazing job. Now pretend to drink the tea.”
“You’re just jealous. I bet you never had a line.”
“And you’re going to get kicked out of this scene if you don’t pretend to drink the tea. Read the script, dude.”
“I’m doing a New Girl next week.”
“Well, bully for you. And end scene. Damn, this tea sucks.”
“Yup, it certainly does. And that pretzel sounds really good right about now.”
“Uh, we need to do that scene over again. Make sure you laugh quieter this time.”
“Good. We have time. Let me tell you more about that Frasier episode…”
Sam
I ell oh elled over this.
It’s a fun thing to think about sometimes, but I try not to.
Watching ‘behind the scenes’ specials kind of makes it lose its magic.
One time I swear I lip read a conversation where extras were talking about high heeled boots. Two guys. It was interesting indeed.
Oh, I’m not doubting it one bit.
The million dollar question is…Where did that conversation go?
This would make food fodder for a play. Where the conversations between extras go. I watched the show Extras with Ricky Gervais but I was underwhelmed. Give me banal conversations any day over substance. That makes the funny funnier.