We all have expectations, so we all also know strongly the feeling of disappointment. It is only when you truly have no expectations that you are never disappointed. That was the topic around the water cooler a couple of days ago.
People will often say that they had no expectations, which is a fallacy. Human nature is to expect things from day one, and this is reinforced by our parents, who have to do everything for us at that time. That’s why it’s so hard for children to understand that they can’t get everything they want as they grow older, that it’s the way of the world. This woman, we’ll call her Candy, is having just that problem with her nine-year old son. He has pretty much gotten whatever he’s wanted until now, but now he wants something (a Playstation 3) that is too expensive because the family is going through tough times financially. Bob told her it’s the perfect chance to teach her son the value of prioritizing. And I agree. My daughter Alexa is having some of the same issues. She wants this American Girl doll that is $150 bucks. FOR A DOLL. But she cannot understand the value of money, so we’re working on it.
The way we interact with books is so personal that no one else can honestly predict what we will like, and what we won’t like.
People will also say that you have ruined their expectations, which is also an incorrect statement, at least according to Candy. She said that your own expectations are what ruin them, not other people. She compared it to the whole book/movie argument. The way we interact with books is so personal that no one else can honestly predict what we will like, and what we won’t like. So, even if you and someone else like the same book, you probably like it for vastly different reasons. Then the movie adaptation of the book comes out, and you’re disappointed while your friend is ecstatic. Over the same movie. It is all based on the expectations you had, not because the movie is a horrible representation of the book. That’s exactly why I don’t put much stock into what people tell me about movies that they’ve seen and I haven’t yet, I said in response.
When we’re disappointed, we tend to take it out on others too, said Bob. He actually shook his head when he said that. It tends to ruin relationships if we do it too much, because now that has changed their expectations of the interactions they’re going to get when they’re with you. Wow, I thought that was especially deep, particularly for Bob, who rarely goes there. And I completely agree, as did Candy. We need to learn not to shoot the messenger, as it were. So ended another day at the water cooler.
Sam
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