I Know I Love My Wife

Do you remember that Chris Rock movie, I Think I Love My Wife, where he doesn’t appreciate what he has at home until it’s almost too late? Honestly, if it was me waiting on him to turn it around and stop skirt chasing, I would have been gone. Of course, though, by the end of the film he finally has his priorities straight, and she forgives him. As viewers we need to have that happy ending, and while life doesn’t always work out like that, it sometimes does. And I am really glad for they fact, personally.

I met a woman in 2001, or at least I started talking to her that year. On Halloween, to be exact, she sent me the first of what would turn out to be over 1500 email messages between us. And it all began because of a band, the band Live. Maybe you remember them. They had a couple of hits with Lightning Crashes and I Alone back in 1994. So this woman, she and I are huge fans of this band, and we were on the internet mailing list for them (now defunct). One thing led to another and we fell in love. Online.

When we finally met in person, in March of 2002, it was all butterflies and cotton candy flutters. I flew to upstate New York all the way from Tennessee. My mother was worried that this woman might be some sort of serial killer, but I was just thinking, “What if she only likes my words, and not my physical appearance?” and “What if we just don’t connect as much in person as we do online?”

It was all quite a whirlwind, but I needn’t have worried. Sure, we were both awkward and unsure of out standing with each other for, like, a minute, but soon we were as good in person as we ever were online. And after a couple of days together, we were even more dynamic in person. Sadly, though, I had to go back to Tennessee because I had to finish out the school year. Parting was such sweet sorrow, for both of us. We both knew by then that this was it. That I was “the one” for her, and that she was “the one” for me.

And that has stood the test of time, and a lot of testing was done, believe me. Because that woman, on May 20th, 2003, did me the honor of becoming my wife. She stood by me when I first moved up here and had nothing. She supported me through finishing up my college courses, through finding a job, and through losing my job. Now, I don’t usually talk about her on the blog, but only because she values her privacy, and I appreciate that, but it’s that time of year and she doesn’t mind if I share right now. Unlike Chris Rock in the aforementioned film, I don’t just think I love my wife. I know I love my wife, and that’s a huge difference.

I know I love my wife because she has an amazing sense of self. She knows who she is, which is a lot to be said for anyone, a rare trait indeed. It always seems to me that the people who think they know themselves are the ones who are furthest from the truth about who they are. So, my wife is unique, but not just in this way.

I know I love my wife because she gets me.

I know I love my wife because she has as wacky a sense of humor as I have. However, while I have a wry, self-effacing type of humor, hers tends to be witty, without being high-brow.

I know I love my wife because she gets me. When I’m at my worst, she understands, and when I’m at my best she doesn’t shut me down. If there’s one thing that damages marriages today, it’s the disconnect between spouses. But my wife knows when I’m down, even if I don’t. And she gets me to talk about my issues so they don’t grow into even bigger ones that put a drain on not only me, but on us.

I know I love my wife because she’s incredibly creative. She can do something with anything, and create everything. Did you follow that? Simply put, she is a wizard with scrapbooks, she can write amazingly well, and she can manipulate things to make them work, even if it seemed like an impossibility before.

I know I love my wife because every single time I look at her, I get those same butterflies…

I know I love my wife because every single time I look at her, I get those same butterflies, those same cotton candy flutters. When she’s near me I know it, even if she’s somewhere I didn’t know she would be. It’s like a sixth sense in that way. When she touches my hand, I feel warm, even if her hand isn’t. And when it’s time to go to sleep, I like to hold her close until I drift off, so my dreams will be sweet ones.

I know I love my wife because it’s the most natural feeling in the world, and I always want to feel that way. With her.

Sam