Taking a Little Time For Me

Do you ever think about why you don’t do the things you love to do as much as you wish to do them? I mean, honestly. When was the last time you actually evaluated your wants instead of always evaluating your needs? (And, by the way, those two things aren’t always mutually exclusive.) We seem to often find ourselves bogged down by routine, which is a comforting thing, knowing when and where and why and how before even asking the questions. However, because of this routine based usually on need or on comfort, we often find ourselves drifting farther away from the things we want to do, which may take time and energy we don’t seem to have anymore.

So, I sat down and made a list of things I enjoy doing the most, and cross-referenced it with things that are on my daily/weekly/monthly routine. Keep in mind these items on my list are me-centric, so you won’t find things I also enjoy doing, like spending time with my wife and kids. It is implied. It was rather sad to see how little I did those things that were on my list, and then to consider why I rarely did those things.

Things I enjoy:

1. Writing
2. Reading
3. Reading aloud to others
4. Going out for brunch
5. Going to cafes for poetry readings
6. Going bookstore browsing
7. Golfing
8. Tennis
9. Conversations with adults
10. Library hopping (all you other library hoppers out there, I feel you)

Of those 10 me-centric wants, the ones I get to do somewhat consistently are, surprise surprise, the ones I can generally do by myself. Things like writing, reading, and library hopping are, for the most part, solitary endeavors, so I don’t need to find someone else who has the time and/or the inclination to do those things with me. That’s also rather sad, though, that I can’t seem to find someone to engage with me in those activities. But, of course, it’s not just their schedules, but also my own, that seem to always preclude us from getting together.

And I started to think about how I can make those other list items happen with more frequency/at all in my life. Most of my time is spent traveling from home to work, from work to pick up the kids, from picking up the kids to coming back home, to taking care of things at home, to helping take care of the kids at night, to getting a moment to spend with my wife, to going to sleep, to doing it all over again. Day in and day out. And somewhere in there I can find time, while the kids are playing Wii or with their iPads, or on my wife’s bath nights, to read (my current book is Beautiful Creatures), and/or write (my blog entries, or something other). And sometimes when I have a small amount of time between getting off work and picking up the kids, I can stop in at a library. That’s it.

“I have to do what I always tell others to do. I have to make time for the things that are important to me.”

Then it hit me. I have to do what I always tell others to do. I have to make time for the things that are important to me. And I have to rely on others to make time on their ends for us to do those joint ventures together, like golfing, tennis, having conversations, etc. Maybe I can also stop blaming them for not being ready when I’m ready. They have their own routines and priorities, but I have to make mine happen, so if they’re not ready, I will find others. Maybe at those cafes when I’m doing the poetry readings. Or maybe at the driving range when I’m warming up for a possible golf round. Or even at the bookstore somewhere around the self help section (uh, never mind. Never going to that section). If I just get out there and find that time, it will all fall into place.

And it can for you too. So, take some time, think about those things you want — and post them here — be a little me-centric sometime. You’ll be amazed at how good it will make you feel. Don’t worry. I’ll keep you updated on my progress if you’ll keep me updated on yours.

Sam