U Better Recognize

You know how it is when you see someone you haven’t seen in weeks, months, or even years, and you recognize them, you make eye contact, and there is no recognition there. So you pretend you don’t know them either, and you keep walking. I mean, how embarrassing is it when you say someone’s name, and they have to pretend they remember you, and you both have to pretend they’re not pretending? Or maybe you’re on the other end of the reaction, the one embarrassed because you don’t recognize someone you know you should, but you have a horrible memory and it’s not really your fault.

If frustration has got you down, you should join me in requesting an app that could fix just that problem. It would be called KnowMe, and once you had it, you would never be in that awkward spot again. Here’s how it would work. You download the app and once you’re within 20 feet of someone you know, it would send you a text alerting you to their presence, giving you their name, and telling you how you know them. On a deeper level, it could also keep on file a picture of the person, and a GPS to tell you exactly where they are in relation to you. You could even turn off the app if you’re at a family reunion or somewhere else where you definitely know everyone there.

The only problem would be that everyone you know would have to have a SmartPhone and have downloaded the app themselves. But if they’re anything like you, they have a deplorable memory, or they are tired of pretending they know people and it being oh-so-obvious, they will definitely get the app as well. Then they enter in each person they want the app to remember, or they search for their acquaintances in the search engine, and voila! It’s done and you’re both ready to never be surprised by someone you marginally know ever again!

Sam