Hating Earl

Jeannette hated shopping. The old man just inside the door at WalMart always smiled at her in that creepy way that reminded her of Fraggle Rock, and she tried to avoid him as much as was humanly possible. The problem was that she was never quite sure at which door he would be stationed, and … Continue reading Hating Earl

Mall Benches

I’ve never really been a fan of the mall, even though each one has probably about five stores that I adore. Because for every Best Buy there are five ladies clothing stores, and for each five minutes spent in Kay B Toys there are two hours spent holding a purse while even more clothing gets … Continue reading Mall Benches

Keeping It Brand, Part 12

Toys, toys, and more TOYS.

T’is the season once again, when hordes of people descend upon retail establishments, searching for the latest and greatest in electronics, entertainment, toys, and games. These kindly folks are given lists by their diligent children, or grandchildren, or nieces, or nephews, or godkids, lists of items for Santa to bring them. These items range from beats by dre headphones, to BMX bikes, to Lego Chima, to Monster High dolls, to basically anything else you can find on the shelves with a price tag on it. And each year, the “must-haves” are different. This year’s “must-haves” were:


  • Playstation 4
  • Zoomer robot dog
  • Doc McStuffin’s Checkup Center
  • Razor scooters
  • Logo Party board game
  • Lego Friends sets
  • Our Generation dolls and accesories
  • Rubber band bracelets
  • Crayola Crayon Maker
  • Flutter-bye dolls

I know they were the “must-haves” because of the plethora of phone calls to the store from 8 o’clock on every morning since November 12th, asking for the availability of said items. That’s of course in addition to the people wanting bungee chairs, rocker chairs, microwaves, Kitchen-Aid attachments (and mixers), vacuum cleaners, Keurig machines, and beer making kits. It honestly blows my mind the sheer numbers generated by a retail store just in that month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Numbers of guests in the building on any given day, at any given hour. Numbers of guests through the checkout lines. Numbers of average items in each cart. Numbers of dollars spent on those items. Numbers of team members assigned to the electronics, entertainment, and toys areas of the store on any given day, at any given hour.

So THAT’S what Zoomer looks like!

And this year I was responsible for two major areas of the store for the holidays: perishables, and TOYS. Now, if you’ve been following this series, you’ll know that my primary job at Target is the perishables assistant, meaning I am responsible for making sure all of our fresh food is indeed fresh, that it’s full on the floor, and that an order goes in systematically so we can maintain the other two. I think many people forget in the maelstrom over in electronics, entertainment, and toys, that food is a huge seller this time of year as well and helps to maintain the other areas of the store. Anyway, though, I was asked this year to expand my talents and take over the daunting task of also maintaining Toys. Continue reading “Keeping It Brand, Part 12”

Shopping With the Ladies

Fellas, I feel your pain. I’ve been there more times than a little, standing in the back of a women’s clothing store while the significant ladies in my life try on outfit after outfit. Searching, sometimes futilely, sometimes not, for a chair to sit in while I wait (and sometimes nod off to sleep — … Continue reading Shopping With the Ladies