Tag: marriage

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Unnecessary Proposal

Bruzzy's ReceptionI never actually proposed. There was no getting down on one knee, no ring in the jacket pocket, no sweaty palms in my lap waiting to pop the question and wondering what her answer would be, and definitely no long engagement where we grew old before we even got married. Instead, there was a tacit understanding between us from the beginning, actually, regarding where our relationship was going. It was almost zen-like the way we operated from the beginning, knowing each others’ thought processes and just relying on that in order to make those plans without even speaking our wishes. In fact, at one point I turned to Heidi and I asked her:

“So, we getting married or what?”

And she looked at me like I had gone out of my mind, then she smiled and said:

“Don’t be silly.”

That was it, at least until we actually went to get the marriage certificate. What might have constituted a proposal was when we both said, virtually at the same time, after she had gotten us tickets to Ireland:

“Want to get married while we’re there?”

Seriously, too, it was almost at the exact same time, like a pastel pink lightbulb had gone off over her head at the same time that another one in matching pale blue went off over mine. And that was it. We were getting married. Continue reading “Unnecessary Proposal”

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An Every Day Husband

100_2358Most of my Facebook friends are female, and the three biggest variations of their status updates include how they’re bored, how they’re annoyed, or how they’re frustrated. Usually these statuses involve men in one way or another. Either their husband, or their boyfriend, or the boy they like wronged them in some way, and they’re taking out their ire in the best way they know how, through social media. I follow the conversations generated from those status updates, and usually these emotions are seconded, and thirded, and fourthed (sure, those are all words) by other females who seem to feel the exact same way. “You go, girlfriend,” or “What has your man done for you lately?” are echoed on the walls and timelines of women near and far. Are men really that irresponsible and neglectful? Do we take women for granted the longer they’ve been with us?

So, I decided to look at my own relationship to see how it worked on an individual level. Are there things I do that contribute to my wife being frustrated or annoyed? And the startling answer is yes, but I can’t leave it there. What can I do to make sure that doesn’t happen anymore, or to limit that from happening? So I made a list…

  • Sometimes I am oblivious
  • I lack a certain amount of common sense
  • Sometimes I don’t “sense the mood”
  • I say I’m a romantic but I don’t always do romantic things
  • Communication is sometimes lacking
  • I get caught up in daddy-mode instead of spouse-mode
  • I need to be an every day husband

But what does that mean, to be an every day husband? Continue reading “An Every Day Husband”

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Living Next to Disney

Disney-World“People who live next to Disney hardly ever go there.”

I lived the first twenty-one years of my life in Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, the birthplace of the U.S. Constitution, and the home of the famed Liberty Bell. And after I ventured out into the world and met more people from other places, I finally realized just how interesting the place of my birth was. The history packed into the place could fill several books, and yet it was something I took for granted being able to walk into Independence Hall anytime I wanted, or passing by Betsy Ross’s house on my way to South Street on Thursday evenings in July. Moving away, though, gave me a perspective I never would have had otherwise.

When I won a trip for a week at Disney World, to stay on the park property, I was ecstatic. I was going to the most magical place on earth, to spend a week with several other groups of kids from all over the U.S., and it was going to be amazing. Among the group of kids who all congregated there for the week were teenagers from California, from Texas, and from Atlanta. There was also a group from Orlando, and I was so excited to meet them. I mean, they lived right down the block from a place I would kill to live near, and I wanted to know how amazing that was for them. But when I asked the question, one of the girls laughed at me and said, “People who live next to Disney hardly ever go there.” She explained that it didn’t mean the park wasn’t amazing. What it meant was that you can get used to anything. You can take anything for granted. Continue reading “Living Next to Disney”