Tag: leprechaun

Posted on

How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 3

youve been leprechaundYeah, I totally made it to the Olympics, against all odds, but that was just the beginning. I kept reminding myself of what needed to happen as a part of my complicated plan to trap the leprechaun.

  1. Get to the Olympics. Check.
  2. Win the Olympics. In progress.
  3. Wave the gold medal around like some kind of lunatic.
  4. Locate the leprechaun attracted to the gold.
  5. Utilize LeRoy’s trap, whatever it happened to be.
  6. Get my 3 wishes.

Of course my mom had to make some kind of big fuss about all the time I spent in the gym working on my rhythmic gymnastics routine, but she went with me to all the competitions anyway. It didn’t help that she argued with all of the coaches and booed the other people going for the Olympic spots, but I pretty much blocked her out and kept the peddle to the metal. I had to get a special break from school for all the competitions, so I didn’t really get to check up on how LeRoy was working out, but otherwise things were going to plan.

And when all was said and done, I was invited to be the first male to compete in the discipline. I didn’t care about any of that, but my mom was pretty impressed by it all. The entire journey, though, was relatively easy, and it made me just a little worried that something big would happen to ruin my dreams of those 3 wishes. I did get a good sign, though, the day before we arrived at the Olympics. It rained all night. Continue reading “How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 3”

Posted on

How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 2

leprechaunThat’s where the plan fell apart because my dentist refused to promise me a gold tooth. Apparently you only get gold when you’re a gangster or something. No wonder not too many people claim to have actually caught a leprechaun in this day and age. If only more gangsters believed in the magic of the little green folk. Of course that still wouldn’t help me get my hands on one, and there is no way I could pass for a gangster, so that plan was out.

Anyone have a key to Fort Knox? Seriously, though, I knew I needed a different plan and one dropped right into my lap the next day when I saw that the Olympics was on TV. A strangely anorexic young lady was standing on a podium with a medallion around her neck, and I’d be a monkey’s uncle if it wasn’t gold! It took me about an hour to figure out what she did to get that gold medallion, but I finally found out. Thus began my rhythmic gymnastics training.

Luckily for me, you don’t have to be in shape to do it. I figured while I was learning how to throw those ribbons and giant balls the leprechaun would be busy finding other gold or sleeping. They must be awful sleepy sometimes with all the running around they do either rushing to hoard gold or trying to escape greedy kids wanting to capture them for wishes. So while my leprechaun friend was probably fast asleep I was in the gym throwing and catching a basketball and an old scarf. I could almost feel the gold in my grubby hands. Continue reading “How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 2”

Posted on

How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 1

Leprechaun-WallpapaerThe first leprechaun I remember was the pipe-smoking one on the Boston Celtics’ logo who could have been mistaken for Mr. Magoo had he not been smoking the aforementioned pipe and balancing a basketball on the tip of his finger. And shortly thereafter I was introduced to that loveable curmudgeon on the Lucky Charms box with the brilliant green hat and abnormally tiny hands. Of course neither one was guarding a pot of gold when I saw them, so I figured they had left their gold unprotected and I went on expeditions to find it. Um, yeah. The joys of being 14.

Leprechauns were fascinating to me because they had something I didn’t: magic. And I wanted to find their gold, but I wouldn’t have sniffed at catching one of them for my very own. Legend has it that a leprechaun who has gotten captured has to grant its captor any three wishes in exchange for letting him go. I knew just what I wanted to do with those three wishes too.

  1. Get the newest pair of Air Jordan’s
  2. Be the most popular kid in school
  3. Have unlimited free pizza

The last one was negotiable. Free macaroni and cheese would have been just as good, but the Air Jordan’s had to be the black ones, and if I wasn’t at least more popular than Stanley Knapp then #2 wouldn’t have been worth it either. But then again I knew that according to folklore the leprechaun would have to give me exactly what I wanted, so I wasn’t too worried about it turning out poorly. I just had to catch him first. Continue reading “How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 1”