Stretch & Tone

“Ultimately spiritual awareness unfolds when you’re flexible, when you’re spontaneous, when you’re detached, when you’re easy on yourself and easy on others.” ~Deepak Chopra

Flexibility is something I’ve lived with pretty much my entire life. I remember my high school graduation, how much I reminded my uncle of how early I had to be there (he was supposed to be my ride), and how I still found myself flying after the city bus, racing down the street with my mortarboard cap under my arm, robe flapping in the breeze. At least the people on the bus wished me good luck.

I used to pride myself on not being like that, in being everywhere early, in being as dependable as Cupid on Valentine’s Day. I treated it like it was the biggest virtue, and it isĀ important, but time has shown me everything isn’t quite as black and white as it seemed when I was judging my uncle (at 17). I hated this ability to be flexible on things that to me mattered more than others. But maybe it wasn’t about being flexible at all. Maybe it was about trying your best and life intervening. Continue reading “Stretch & Tone”

You Can’t Change Men

“Men don’t change. They just learn to disguise the lack of change.” ~David Gemmell

Ladies, remember when you first started dating your man? You thought, “he’s a pretty good man, but he could be a pretty GREAT man if…” and then you thought of all the (subtle) ways you could change him to make him into your perfect representation of MAN. If you tweaked a little, nipped a little, and tucked a little, he could get there, and be worthy of you.

Then, like a miracle, like turning water into wine, it happened. Little by little you noticed the changes that you had set in motion. Bit by bit you saw the shining specimen of a man who had come through the fire, forged like newly burnished steel. And you danced the Macarena with your girlfriends, believing that the almighty had blessed you with what you’d always wanted in a man.

But you celebrated too soon. As time went on you realized that all the “changes” your man went through weren’t really changes, that he had simply learned to hide those “rough spots” from you, dressing them up like wolves in sheep’s clothing, so that you would stop harping on him to change. If he pretended to change enough you would believe he had, and leave him to his own devices.

And you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. It’s not because you’re dumb, either. It’s because you wanted to believe in it more than kids want to believe in Santa Claus. It’s because you thought if your intentions were pure and true enough that positive things were bound to happen. That was your first mistake, because, ladies, despite the best of intentions, you can’t change men. Continue reading “You Can’t Change Men”

Dear Journal: Regrets

Dear Journal, I am 38 years old, and for better or for worse those years have made me what I am. There are many positives to the experience along with a ton of negatives as well, and I don’t try to see if the scales balance because I have a sneaky suspicion that they don’t. … Continue reading Dear Journal: Regrets

The Sorry List

Don’t be sorry. Change your actions. I’m probably the sorriest person you’ll ever meet. Believe me, I say “I’m sorry” at least ten times a day, but what am I really saying? I think most times I apologize it’s for something I have absolutely no control over, so it’s an expression of sympathy rather than … Continue reading The Sorry List