Category: Parenting

Posted on

The F Word

GRADE_FI hear it everywhere, from on the streets, to at work, on television shows, and even from my own children. It’s pervasive in this culture, and I can’t stand it. Every single time I hear that word I want to scream because it’s probably the single most overused, and most incorrectly used, word in the language. When I was younger I used to use it to excess too, so I understand why it’s so widely used, but as I’ve gotten older it just grates on me and I want to say something every time I hear someone say it. The other day I was at work when a little kid was whining to her mom, and she said the F word. I wanted to say something to her, but her mother did it instead, explaining what that word really meant. I was proud of her; it’s not often that I hear anyone corrected for its use.

Then I told my seven-year old she couldn’t have her iPad this morning, and I heard it for the umpteenth time come out of her mouth.

“But Dad, it’s not FAIR!” she told me, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“It’s not fair that some people don’t have anything to eat while others waste food,” I said. “It’s not fair that other kids don’t have an iPad and you do. You want to give them yours?” Continue reading “The F Word”

Posted on

Spare the Rod

I am partial to spanking. Please don’t hit me for saying that, but it’s true. I mean, you know as well as I do that most people are forgetful, especially when it comes to things they don’t want to remember, especially kids. So, why not use the method most likely to get them to remember: the physical reminder? I learned from an early age to equate getting hit with having done something bad.

My childhood was memorable for many reasons, not the least of which were the spankings I received quickly and often. Both of my parents grew up in the school of “spare the rod and spoil the child.” In fact, I heard that exact phrase more times than I would care to admit. Of course, even when they weren’t beating me and I was well-behaved (admittedly not that often), I don’t think anyone would have classified my existence as spoiled. So, to me that didn’t fly, but it didn’t stop them from spanking me when I was bad.

There was a special science to spanking me, too. Continue reading “Spare the Rod”

Posted on

Because I Said So

What a smart guy!

I dreaded those four words. Separately they weren’t so bad. I could adjust to them if they were attached to other words, but when they were put together, back to back, they inspired a sense of helplessness, of uncertainty, and mostly of frustration. And, ironically, I heard them more often than not the older I got, whenever I asked my mother a question. Because I said so.

You’ve heard it before. You’ve probably even used it before. Believe me, I have. But have you ever really stopped and wondered why parents tend to rely on this classic gem when answering their children’s fervent questions?

“Mom, how come I have to take my shoes off in the house?” Continue reading “Because I Said So”

Posted on

Friday Top 5: Rules of Play dating

When I was growing up, there weren’t such things as play dates. If you wanted to play with other kids it wasn’t as neatly wrapped up as your mom calling their mom and setting up a time for mutually beneficial social activity. We would go out on the street and see who else was out there. If you wanted to play the same game, it was on. If not, you compromised or went back inside. Simple as that.

So, when my seven-year old asks me if she can have a play date with one of her little friends, I’m about as lost with the concept as I can be, with trying to come up with activities for her and her friends. I rack my brains to come up with ideas for that mutually beneficial social activity, but I’m clueless. Being here is not quite like when I grew up on the streets of Philadelphia. The houses are farther apart, the kids are few and far between, and most play date mates need to either be driven to our house or we need to drive to theirs.

There are rules to play dates that I’ve noticed apply before the date even begins: Continue reading “Friday Top 5: Rules of Play dating”

Posted on

“I Do It!”: Potty Training and Patience

image

My youngest peed on the couch today, and the war of potty training continues with her having won this round. I saw her wander out into the dining room, casual and unassuming, and then I noticed her rather wet-looking underpants, whereupon her older sister came out of the living room screaming, “Maddie peed on the couch! Maddie peed on the couch!” Now imagine the strangled cry of a cat whose tail has been stepped on and you’ll be able to envision my wife’s reaction to this shocking news. Needless to say it was not good.

What kills me is that sometimes she is good, very very good, when it comes to using the potty at the prescribed times and in the prescribed potty area. The potty area includes the toilet and its surrounding effects. It used to just be the toilet itself, but by the eighth time she used the floor directly in front of the toilet we acceded that area to her. There was no longer any use fighting it. At least she had held out long enough to be “almost” to the potty, so giving that to her was a win-win. What isn’t a win-win is when she refuses to tell us before she goes. Continue reading ““I Do It!”: Potty Training and Patience”

Posted on

38 Floors

My heart dropped about 23 floors when she looked at me this morning with those soulful brown eyes and said, “I want you to stay.” And I know I haven’t been around as much lately. That’s the glory of working two jobs, and being gone most of the day. And that time between paychecks isn’t the easiest time either, because I know I’m working the two jobs for a reason, but it’s easy to forget that reason when I see those soulful brown eyes only once in two days, looking at me, saying, “I want you to stay.” Continue reading “38 Floors”