Call and Response

marching-band-black-on-white-mdHave you ever seen a marching band, where the leader carries a baton and goes, “Left. Left. Left. Right. Left.” and everyone in the band follows along in perfect rhythm, one foot after the other, completely in sync? I used to be a part of one of those marching bands, and I would often repeat the “Left. Right. Left.” in my head along with the leader. It kept me in line with everyone else, especially when I was also playing this huge bass drum pressed against my stomach at the same time. I liked the commands because they helped me to just go with it and not have to think. It’s the same reason people tend to gravitate toward songs that have specific dance moves attached to them, like the Macarena, the Hammer Dance, or even Gangnam Style. They like to let others do the work, and they sit back and enjoy the ride, but without those people who do the work, no marching, or dancing, would get done. It’s the glory of the call and response. Some are callers, and others are responders.

I’m usually a caller. I know, you’re probably shocked at that piece of news. I’m generally the person who starts most conversations, and if there is a lull I like to fill it with something. Some people would call me a leader, and I am that, but a caller is even more than that. A caller is the idea person, not just the one who barks out commands, the one who thinks ahead and knows that something will be needed and when. And it’s an innate sense, too. You can’t be taught to be a caller, and it’s not easy, but it’s fulfilling when a group you’re a part of needs to get something done efficiently and/or creatively. Responders also have a big job, too, though, to follow the instructions of the caller, to put those ideas into action, because without them whatever the grand task is doesn’t get done. With no dancers, there is no dance. Continue reading “Call and Response”

Dating Values

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Don’t drop her.

Why do so many first dates end up without the scheduling of a second? How is it that with so many single people out there women still can’t seem to find a “good man”? Why is the probability of someone remaining single if they’re single by age 30 increasing every year? How can the process of dating be less of a hassle and more of what it was intended to be, a way to meet the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with?

Back in olden times, dating was called courtship, a fancy term to mean that a gentleman picked up a lady at her house, drove her to a nice dinner, had scintillating conversation, and returned her to her doorstep at the pre-approved time. Even the use of the word gentleman to describe the fellow is telling. He opened doors for the lady, pulled out her chair at dinner, and asked her if she was chilled, in which case he would let her borrow his cardigan. And ladies were just that, demure and proper, but not doormats. Ladies spoke their minds in a tactful manner and thanked their dates properly when they were dropped off. Continue reading “Dating Values”

Idle Gossip

“Did you hear the one about…?”

Let’s face it. Some people like to gossip about everything, from what the neighbor wore outside last week to the sexual practices of people in church to the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. But why do we feel the insatiable need to know everything that’s going on with everybody?

I can’t tell you the number of times a conversation has started with “Now I’m not a gossip, but…” and inevitably what follows is plain and simple gossip. So, we are embarrassed to gossip but we also can’t help ourselves, even those of us who say we don’t do it.

Perhaps it is just simple human nature, to want to know everything about everyone, even if some of those things are and should be private. Or maybe we protect ourselves by saying that honesty is the best policy, as if being honest means we need to know who’s doing what with whom, like that’s our business. When it’s not. Continue reading “Idle Gossip”

Booty Call

I hardly ever just tell a story for the story’s sake, but this one was so hilarious I can’t help recounting it here. Indeed, my daughter still tells random strangers this story when we’re in line at the grocery store and there’s more than one person in line ahead of us. I’ve told her before … Continue reading Booty Call

Hey Jealousy

It’s more than just the title of a Gin Blossoms song from the early ’90s. It makes people go from mild-mannered to schizo in a span of mere seconds, or over the course of relentless weeks, months, or even years. It kills relationships more often than anything else. Yeah, sure. You were growing apart before … Continue reading Hey Jealousy