Category: commentary

Posted on

Chatting With Lexi: On Writing

tumblr_static_writing450As she gets older, Lexi has decided she wants to be more like us, not that she wants to copy us, but that she admires what we do. In an essay she wrote for school she talked about how exciting it would be to be a librarian (like her mother). Then she has been talking about getting more songs on her iPod — Bruno Mars, Ne-Yo, and other popular singers — instead of just the KidzBop songs that used to populate her musical world, which is reminiscent of me and my love of different types of music. She even keeps asking me about when we’ll be able to get out and play some tennis since she knows its an important sport to me, and she wants to have that connection with me.

While it’s exciting to watch her grow older and discover more aspects of herself that she wants to explore, it’s also a little sad that the little girl who loved her stuffed rabbit and dog so much is gone, replaced by a young lady who sounds more and more like us, but also more and more like a future version of herself every day. But I’m embracing it because that’s what should happen. In the bath last night, she showed me more of that young woman she’s growing up to be, when she chatted with me about my number one passion: writing.

Lexi: Dad, how do I get to be a writer?

Me: You just write.

Lexi: No! I mean like you. I want to write a book.

Me: That takes a lot of hard work and commitment.

Lexi: Well, not exactly like you. I mean, I want it to be for, like, a 7-year old.

Me: It still takes a lot to write any book, even one for younger kids.

Lexi: How come?

Me: Because you have to keep in mind the age group, the words they should know and ones they won’t.

Lexi: So, if I just think about words I know, it will be okay for 7-year olds?

Me: It depends on the kid, but your editor will be able to help you figure that out.

Lexi: But I want to write it this weekend. I don’t have an editor.

Me: Lex, it’s not going to go that quickly, to get a book written in a couple of days and just publish it.

Lexi: Why not? I already have a lot of good ideas. Continue reading “Chatting With Lexi: On Writing”

Posted on

Home. Improvement.

How exactly did I get into these home improvement shows? Back in the day, if I had my druthers, I would have watched anything but the home improvement channel. Well, that and the surgery channel (blood is not my thing). I was into Kelly Kapowski, the crew from Friends, even Days of Our Lives, but … Continue reading Home. Improvement.

Posted on

@ Dunkin Donuts

Dunkin DonutsWe drove up to the Dunkin Donuts in Upper Darby this morning, desperately seeking doughnuts for the children and a coffee for me. I’m just not operating fully if I don’t have some caffeine in me at some point during the day. Outside the shop were several teenagers lounging and smoking, looking like they had just rolled out of bed, even though I’m sure school was already in session at that point. They had no intention of entering the place, instead preferring to use the grass out front as a hangout spot for delinquents.

A young girl was standing in the doorway.

“Excuse me,” I said to her as I opened the door wider to get past.

“You excused,” she responded, not moving one inch, but we somehow made it by her anyway.

Welcome to Philadelphia.

The floors were sticky, like they had just been mopped by by filthy water that only put more grit on the floor instead of taking it off. We stepped carefully while inside, as we made our way to the counter. Two ladies were working back there, doing a complicated dance that they should have made look simple but didn’t. One was manning the drive-thru, which I had noticed outside was five cars deep, and the other was in charge of helping customers in the actual store. There were two of us.

“I would like a coffee, please,” I told the lady when she stopped long enough to listen. “Cream and sugar.”

“What size you want?” she asked without looking at me.

“I guess I’ll take a large,” I said, having not thought it out beforehand, only knowing I needed caffeine.

“You want a medium?” she responded, as if I hadn’t said a thing.

“Suuuure. I’ll take a medium,” I told her, looking over at my wife to see if she had heard the exchange. She was rolling her eyes, and I realized I was too. I mean, seriously? The lady ended up making me a medium coffee, but at least it had cream and sugar in it. Continue reading “@ Dunkin Donuts”

Posted on

Taking Some Wrong Turns

Astronaut-Earth-sign1-300x221Why do I always get lost? I always get cold and clammy any time I see a “Detour” sign, which is ironic since my first novel is called Detours, but that is a metaphor while real detours just freak me out. I guess it’s because I usually only know one way to get anywhere, so when that way is taken away from me I cease to function as well. When I first moved to upstate New York it seemed like I was getting lost every single day, and getting lost here means going deep into cow country and not being able to find a road that leads out of it.

Once, a couple of summers ago, I was in Rome (Rome, NY, people) for a get-together with some teacher colleagues. I had never been in Rome by myself before, but I thought I knew the way back to route 69 that would take me back in the direction of home. The problem was that I ended up on the wrong street and I assumed it was parallel to the route I wanted. But it wasn’t. I kept driving anyway. I figured I would eventually run into an area that I was familiar with, and of course the longer I kept going straight the more likely that wouldn’t happen. I wasn’t going back, though, because that would admit I was so far off the path, so I kept driving.

The later it got, when the shadows began taking over the road in front of me and I had to turn on my headlights, the more I began to worry. When I finally passed a sign for “Ava,” which is an hour away from where I wanted to be, I finally realized it was time to suck it up and admit that I was hopelessly lost. So I stopped the car by the side of the road (I still wasn’t turning around) and I did what I usually do when faced with a dilemma. I called my wife. She directed me to a road I would have missed otherwise, and within minutes I was back on familiar ground. I guess that’s what comes from actually being from around here. Continue reading “Taking Some Wrong Turns”

Posted on

The Art of Empathy

I almost walked past her, this perfect stranger, but I saw something on her face, in the downward cast of her eyes, that spoke volumes. “How are you doing today?” I stopped and asked. She had obviously been lost in her own world but I brought her back to a murky present. But she smiled … Continue reading The Art of Empathy

Posted on

Childbirth Memories: 1995

hupTruth be told, I really hadn’t expected my sister to say yes, but after she did there was absolutely no way I was going to back out. I had actually been joking. You know, the type of joke where you laugh but the other person doesn’t. Yeah, my sister definitely wasn’t laughing when she said yes, and just like that I was going to witness a live birth. We were a month away from her due date but I got freaked out pretty much right away.

I was 18 at the time, having just started college that fall, and I had no clue at all about life beyond school. In fact, I didn’t even know much about school at the time either, having already missed multiple classes by that October. It was a whole new world for me, of parties, parties, and more parties. Eventually I knew I would have to grow up but that seemed to be in the far off future, something hazy to 18-year-old me. So, when my sister said yes, it was a huge dose of reality hitting me hard.

When I found out she was pregnant I was curious. I mean, for ages it had been just the three of us (my mom, my sister, and me), and I didn’t quite know how things would change adding someone else to the mix. And then there was becoming an uncle, something that seemed to me like an old person’s job back then. In fact, the first thing that crossed my mind when I found out was my own uncles, how solid and adult they were. I knew that wasn’t going to be me, not at first anyway. Maybe that’s why I asked to be there in the first place. Perhaps I knew even then that the experience would change me in numerous ways. Continue reading “Childbirth Memories: 1995”