If I Met Her Now

Here we are, nearly 13 years into our relationship, and so much has changed throughout the years. In 13 years we went from “email associates,” to being in a relationship, to living together, to getting married, to becoming parents, and so much else in and around those milestones. When we were married the world was a simpler place because we had so few responsibilities, at least as compared to now. We spent a lot of our free time simply experiencing each other, watching Friends’ marathons, and getting to know each other.

Now here we are, nearly 13 years later, still enjoying each other, but in different ways. We know each other’s subtleties, the looks we have when we’re not pleased, and the shared silences that are comfortable because it’s us. We can’t quite always finish each other’s sentences, but we’re just as interested in spending private time together. What’s changed, though, is the amount of time we do get to spend one-on-one. That’s what having children does, of course, and we wouldn’t trade these little munchkins in for the world, but they do make things different.

Before we were parents, we were husband and wife. Before we were husband and wife we were destined to be. But before all of that, before we even met, we were individuals. And we still are. If I met her now, and none of the intervening stages had happened, what would life be like?

If I met her now, we would…

• go on day trips to places as far away as we could get and still have time to explore and return home by nightfall
• spend time pretending we were French, and sip our coffee together while reading fancy magazines
• write a book together
• play a weekly game of Trivial Pursuit and keep track of wins and losses
• go dancing at social events
• fall madly in love, but in stages
• understand on a deeper level how important it is to treasure time
• still be us, just in a different way

Yes, we would still be us, just without the memories we share now, but we would make new memories, and 13 years after right now we would hopefully have gotten married, had two lovely children, and ended up in someplace very similar to where we are now. But life would have moved along. So I’m glad we met when we did, and that we have been able to go through this time, and these stages, together, because that’s the way it was meant to be.

Sam