Month: March 2014

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Snow Tired

snowstormPlease, allow me to vent for a moment. Now, I’m usually the guy who makes fun of others for getting all worked up over weather, so what happened today was a righteous comeuppance. It doesn’t mean I liked it, but it was definitely righteous. To truly explain I need to take you back to just over two years ago.

It was one of those rare times when I was alone at home, while my wife and kids were in Utica. We were supposed to meet at Applebees for lunch. It had been snowing steadily all morning, but it hadn’t really accumulated on the roads, so it lulled me into a false sense of security. And I was hungry for a Cowboy (Veggie) Burger.

Everything started off well, with my iPod plugged in and playing Guns ‘n Roses. The car handled well on the road, and I was well on my way… until I ran into the drifts. There’s a stretch of road where the winds are strong and they drive the snow over the road in drifts, but I was going along so well that I forgot the drifts were there. Then I was skidding, sliding across the opposite lane in what seemed like slow motion.

I ended up in a ditch that day, but I got lucky that it was shallow enough that the car didn’t turn all the way over, preferring instead to rest on its side. Several good samaritans came to my aid also, helping me out of the car and giving me someplace to rest while I waited for the tow truck, for the police, and for my wife. But since that day anytime the winds pick up in winter I get anxious. Continue reading “Snow Tired”

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Reunion

Check the acid-wash jeans.

My 20 – year high school reunion is next month and I have been reliving some of the highs and lows of the experience. Hard to believe that it has been 20 years since high school. Some days I can almost convince myself I’m still a gangly 15-year-old with acne and a distinct lack of facial hair. Now the facial hair I do have has quite a bit of gray scattered throughout, so when I look in the mirror I can believe it’s been 20 years.

I went back after 15 years, when I was searching for some kind of anchor or foothold I had been missing back then. And I did reconnect with several people I knew, but it was transitory. It wasn’t solid. But this is 20 years. Everyone will be there, and I am at once both elated and frightened over that.

Everyone remembers high school differently. Some recall only the good parts, the “best years of my life” that is often bandied about by middle-aged people who need to relive their glory years, the metaphorical heyday. While others remember the bullying and tears.  Still others reflect on how invisible they felt even in the midst of so many others. I was in this latter group.

Don’t get me wrong. I had a small network of people I would have called friends for lack of a better term, and they were separated into black, white, and other. Not by me, but by them. My black friends were courtesy of my skin color and my sister. My white friends were because we shared the nerd trait. And the others played table tennis with me. Back then those were the lines, but perhaps looking back they were only in my head. Continue reading “Reunion”

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Newport Village

What I love about Newport: Everybody knows everybody It’s a quaint society It’s pretty as a painting in winter The West Canada Creek runs through it We greet each other when we pass What I like the least about Newport Everybody knows everybody It’s far away from civilization Dogs don’t follow the leash law If … Continue reading Newport Village

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How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 3

youve been leprechaundYeah, I totally made it to the Olympics, against all odds, but that was just the beginning. I kept reminding myself of what needed to happen as a part of my complicated plan to trap the leprechaun.

  1. Get to the Olympics. Check.
  2. Win the Olympics. In progress.
  3. Wave the gold medal around like some kind of lunatic.
  4. Locate the leprechaun attracted to the gold.
  5. Utilize LeRoy’s trap, whatever it happened to be.
  6. Get my 3 wishes.

Of course my mom had to make some kind of big fuss about all the time I spent in the gym working on my rhythmic gymnastics routine, but she went with me to all the competitions anyway. It didn’t help that she argued with all of the coaches and booed the other people going for the Olympic spots, but I pretty much blocked her out and kept the peddle to the metal. I had to get a special break from school for all the competitions, so I didn’t really get to check up on how LeRoy was working out, but otherwise things were going to plan.

And when all was said and done, I was invited to be the first male to compete in the discipline. I didn’t care about any of that, but my mom was pretty impressed by it all. The entire journey, though, was relatively easy, and it made me just a little worried that something big would happen to ruin my dreams of those 3 wishes. I did get a good sign, though, the day before we arrived at the Olympics. It rained all night. Continue reading “How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 3”

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How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 2

leprechaunThat’s where the plan fell apart because my dentist refused to promise me a gold tooth. Apparently you only get gold when you’re a gangster or something. No wonder not too many people claim to have actually caught a leprechaun in this day and age. If only more gangsters believed in the magic of the little green folk. Of course that still wouldn’t help me get my hands on one, and there is no way I could pass for a gangster, so that plan was out.

Anyone have a key to Fort Knox? Seriously, though, I knew I needed a different plan and one dropped right into my lap the next day when I saw that the Olympics was on TV. A strangely anorexic young lady was standing on a podium with a medallion around her neck, and I’d be a monkey’s uncle if it wasn’t gold! It took me about an hour to figure out what she did to get that gold medallion, but I finally found out. Thus began my rhythmic gymnastics training.

Luckily for me, you don’t have to be in shape to do it. I figured while I was learning how to throw those ribbons and giant balls the leprechaun would be busy finding other gold or sleeping. They must be awful sleepy sometimes with all the running around they do either rushing to hoard gold or trying to escape greedy kids wanting to capture them for wishes. So while my leprechaun friend was probably fast asleep I was in the gym throwing and catching a basketball and an old scarf. I could almost feel the gold in my grubby hands. Continue reading “How to Trap a Leprechaun, Part 2”