Month: February 2014

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Saying Goodbye

The second hand shifts in stages Marking a time more precious Than the beating of my wounded heart As it pounds between my ears That neverending metronome All but saying goodbye The candles lighting our path Guttered out by silent rains A flood of emotions poured in Spilling across the tipping point And screams that … Continue reading Saying Goodbye

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The Magic of the Games

628x471I went ice skating once, a long time ago, and I did it because of peer pressure. I mean, everyone else was doing it, so I tried it too. When we got to the rink it reminded me of bowling because I had to rent skates, and the pressure was intense when they didn’t know if they would be able to find them in my size. Luckily for me there was one pair that wasn’t going to totally crush my feet, so I put them on and went out on the ice. And promptly fell flat on my butt.

But in my mind I was a world-class skater who never fell, who skated figure eights with the utmost of ease, and who didn’t need the wall just to hold me up. It was at times like those when reality somehow put a dent in my self-image, reminding me that while there might be some thing I’m good at, there are countless others that I should probably just leave alone. Unless I was absolutely committed to getting better at them and becoming something special. Otherwise, it would be best to live vicariously through others who were gifted or who put in the years of training to be as good as they were in a sport I wished I had in my back pocket.

So, in that summer of 1996 I made up my mind to learn as much as I could about international sports, to soak in the feel of victory and the agony of defeat, and to feel as alive as I could, as energetic as those people I watched on the screen who could do so much. And as luck would have it, the Olympics were occurring that very summer in Atlanta. I didn’t miss one second of them. I scrambled to watch every event, to cheer on each athlete, and to revel in the cultural aspects that make the Olympics second to none when it comes to sporting events.

I loved watching the parade of nations on that first night, seeing the gaudy costumes, the big hair, and the stunning surroundings. For two weeks I was mesmerized. I even tried once again to do some of those physical activities —  I hurt my back trying to do a flip like Shannon Miller. And by the time the fortnight was over, my absolute love of Olympic competition had been forged, despite the bomb, despite the poor showing of some of my favorite Olympians, and even with the lack of ice skating (I would have to wait another two years to see that in Nagano). I was hooked. Continue reading “The Magic of the Games”

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Easier to Run

billmurraydonthasslemeimlocal“It’s easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb. It’s so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone.” -Linkin Park

There’s an especially poignant scene in What About Bob? when the mercurial therapist, Dr. Marvin, tells the delusional patient, Bob, that he needs to take a “vacation” from his problems. Of course Bob takes the therapist literally, deciding to take an actual vacation, as if physically changing location could magically take care of his problems.

I laughed when I watched the movie and Bob shows up at the doctor’s vacation home to explain how amazing his “vacation from his problems” is going to be, because to me it was ludicrous to believe the way he did, and yet many people think this is the cure for what ails them. They go far away, thinking that when they return home their problems will be solved. Not so.

I understand the sentiment, though. It does seem easier to run when faced with what seem like insurmountable odds or issues that often derail us. It’s one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high. Instead of facing the problems in our relationships, we simply ditch the relationships, which we think solves the problems. Yet, when we don’t deal with those issues, when we don’t talk them out, we never realize why they were there in the first place and we are doomed to repeat them in future relationships. Continue reading “Easier to Run”

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Chatting With Lexi: On Being a Grown Up

quotes-about-friends-growing-upSometimes I swear I’m talking to a 20-year old when I have conversations with my daughter (who will turn eight in less than two weeks). She honestly says some things that are beyond her years. And then she’ll let out a whoop and swear the aliens are coming in the near future. I try my best to reconcile the fact that this is the same person. Regardless, today we had one of those really good talks, this time about growing up…

Lexi: When will I be a grown up?

Me: When you don’t have to ask me that question anymore.

Lexi: Huh?

Me: Never mind.

Lexi: No, tell me!

Me: What I’m trying to say is that you’ll know it. No need to try and speed it up.

Lexi: But I want to be grown up now!

Me: Don’t rush it. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Lexi: When I’m an adult I can have my own daughters and give them money.

Me: Are you asking me for money?

Lexi: [laughing] Well, there is this one doll I want…

Me: You don’t even play with dolls.

Lexi: I would play with THIS doll. Continue reading “Chatting With Lexi: On Being a Grown Up”

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Elements of a Good Romantic Comedy

romcomsWe’ve all seen those movies. You know the ones, where boy meets girl, they inevitably fall in love, and they live happily ever after. But these films aren’t the fairy tales we read when we were children, and the road can get a bit bumpy before it evens out, especially lately. Movies like 27 Dresses, Pitch Perfect, and When in Rome highlight these issues that can creep in, but they still eventually get to their happily ever after. But what are the elements of good romantic comedies? I think there are at least six of them…

  1. One of the eventual couple needs to be unlikeable at the beginning of the film. Think of Hugh Grant’s character in Two Weeks Notice — he’s a bit of a heel, but he softens as the movie progresses. And more recently Sandra Bullock’s character in The Proposal who learns that getting ahead monetarily isn’t worth sacrificing emotional attachments.
  2. There needs to be a major obstacle that seems insurmountable at some point. Remember Tom Hanks’ character whose book business crushes the little book shop of his love interest in You’ve Got Mail. Or Julia Roberts’ character as a prostitute in Pretty Woman. Sometimes the obstacle is unrequited love, but it turns into something unexpected, like in American Pie when Jason Biggs’ character comes to appreciate the girl he thought was just a friend.
  3. The characters can’t be perfect. One of the major problems in fairy tales is that usually the characters are perfect “types,” — the beautiful maiden who also happens to be innocent, the muscle-bound prince who rescues the maiden from the evil sorcerer. Too many romantic comedies also follow this blueprint and fail at it. The best ones have flawed characters, movies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Love Actually, and Boomerang. Continue reading “Elements of a Good Romantic Comedy”
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Crush Crush Crush

117091062_4b64ec9547“If you want to play it like a game, well, come on. Let’s play. ‘Cause I’d rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute.” -Paramore

She was perfect. Her skin was a smooth, dark chocolate, mocha maybe, her lips a contrasting pink. Every time I saw her my heart literally skipped a beat (seriously, check with my doctor), but to her I was always just a friend. Maybe to her I was even “little brother” material because she sure enough treated me like it, even when I went out of my way to remind her that we weren’t related, that she could and should see me in a different light.

We met at church, like a lot of people do, when we were both just out of the cradle, it seemed. Perhaps that’s where the “brother” feelings originated for her. I don’t think I’ll ever really know, if she herself even knows. I hadn’t seen her as a possible love interest then either. It wasn’t love at first sight, but there was always something about her that was ethereal, transcendent even. I think I knew even when we were little kids that there was a spark there I would like to explore later. That set us apart.

It was always more than just a crush, too. Now, I’m not saying that I knew what love was way back then, but I did know that I wanted more than what friends had. I was probably around 10 when I first realized I wanted to be more than friends. I began writing about her daily in my journal, thinking about her more and more as time went by, and finding excuses to spend more time with her both in and out of church. I even joined several groups just to be near her.

But I never once told her how I felt. I think maybe I was just too shy to approach anything like that with her. Or perhaps I was just deathly afraid of rejection. Maybe I figured it was better to be a well-respected friend than to possibly mess things up if she didn’t say she felt the same. It’s always awkward after that. Continue reading “Crush Crush Crush”