Chatting with Arsenio*

Interviewer: So, now that you’ve won The Celebrity Apprentice, how are you going to use your “newfound” fame?”

Arsenio*: I’ve thought a lot about it, you know, and I’m going to revive my show.

Interviewer: Um, well, don’t you have any higher aspirations?

Arsenio: Like what?

Interviewer: Like a new blockbuster movie or something?

Arsenio: You mean like “Coming to America 2: Back to Africa”?  I don’t think Eddie will go for it.

Interviewer: He did “Norbit.” I think he’d be up for it.

Arsenio: But imagine the old show, the old sets, the old stage. It would be epic.

Interviewer: Uh, Arsenio, I hate to tell you this, but the show wasn’t even epic when it was on the first time.

Arsenio: We got Bill Clinton, and the Beastie Boys.

Interviewer: Yeah, and you also got canceled.

Arsenio: People didn’t appreciate Michelangelo when he was alive either. And I had my impressions. Chunky A. You know that stuff was gold.

Interviewer: You should still maybe talk to Eddie, you know, just in case the show doesn’t take off.

Arsenio: Just throw your hand in the air, and wave it like you just don’t care.

Interviewer: You’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?

Arsenio: Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!

Interviewer: I’m just saying, Coming to America 2, 3, 4, you could franchise it.

Arsenio: I’ll think about it. Run it by Eddie. But I’m still doing the show. I’m going to be bigger than Conan.

Interviewer: Yeah, that won’t take much.

Arsenio: That’s what she said.

Interviewer: Who are you going to have on the first week anyway?

Arsenio: I’m thinking Keenan Ivory Wayans, Tommy Davidson, Tracy Morgan, and Halle Berry. It’s gonna be a hit.

Interviewer: You think of having anyone on who is actually relevant right now? You know, like Miley?

Arsenio: That skinny white boy?

Interviewer: Uh.

Arsenio: I’ll leave you free tickets at the door.

Interviewer: Just leave some for Eddie and I’ll be happy.

Sam

*This is not an actual interview with the real Arsenio Hall. If it had been a real interview it would have been less coherent and had slightly more colorful language in it. Thank you for understanding.