When I Grow Up

“Now I’ve got a confession. When I was young I wanted attention. And I promised myself that I’d do anything, anything at all for them to notice me… when I grow up I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies…” ~The Pussycat Dolls When I grow up I want … Continue reading When I Grow Up

The Humorist

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” -William James

black dark text humor quotes funny infographics 1920x1440 wallpaper_wallpaperswa.com_100Girls like guys who are funny, right? I imagine if every female had to take a quiz with a list of attributes they admire on it, a sense of humor will probably be high on the list, but is it really the case? Well, think about it this way: if a guy is always serious, things would get boring rather quickly. But that’s where common sense plays a part. A guy who is never serious would also get tedious in time. It’s all about walking that delicate tightrope between the serious and the humorous.

But, of course, if I knew where that line was all the time, and how to stay atop it without falling, I would be a genius. Most guys also can’t balance that well all the time. So we try our best to read the “signs” given off by whatever females we happen to be engaged with (engaged being a state of interaction in this case). I can’t tell you how many times I haven’t been able to read those signs and some bad things resulted from it, or when I read the signs the wrong way and made a mess of things that way too. In those instances, I just tell my wife, “You knew this about me when you met me.”

Not the right response when the lady’s not too pleased that you’re joking during serious time. Believe me.

I do pride myself on being funny, but that kind of quirky funny, you know the type. I’m the guy who takes the obvious punchline and overdoes it, making the reaction funny, not necessarily the joke itself. I guess you can say I’m over the top in most things I do, but I do have the corniest jokes. Continue reading “The Humorist”

Chatting with Arsenio*

Interviewer: So, now that you’ve won The Celebrity Apprentice, how are you going to use your “newfound” fame?” Arsenio*: I’ve thought a lot about it, you know, and I’m going to revive my show. Interviewer: Um, well, don’t you have any higher aspirations? Arsenio: Like what? Interviewer: Like a new blockbuster movie or something? Arsenio: … Continue reading Chatting with Arsenio*

“I’m Supportive, Like a Good Bra”

Photo: LOL.
Don’t leave the key under the mat. Duh.

You know those kinds of people, the ones who always seem ready with a poignant quotable phrase? And you’re ridiculously jealous because the best you could come up with on the spur of the moment is, “Don’t eat yellow snow.” Then you see those memes that make you laugh out loud, even when you don’t want to like them, and you just have to share them, wishing all the while that you were the one who came up with the words for them. It starts to seem like everyone is more creative and witty than you, and you just want to go crawl under a rock somewhere.

Well, let me tell you something: THEY’RE NOT MORE CREATIVE AND WITTY THAN YOU ARE. Sorry for shouting, but it’s important that you hear it loud and clear. They just know the value of good timing and how to steal other people’s material. You see, most of the things you think are spur of the moment aren’t. And most of those people you are jealous of should be jealous of you, because at least you’re honest about not having good ideas. You really shouldn’t eat yellow snow. Indeed. Continue reading ““I’m Supportive, Like a Good Bra””