Month: September 2013

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How to Be Unpopular

I had an afro a long time ago, but after afros were really popular and before they came back into style. I am just such a cool individual that way. Well, at least that’s what I told myself when I was fighting for an hour every morning to keep that thing styled just right without messing it up. Yeah, those were the days. Then I shaved it all off right after the shaved head look died out. I just couldn’t catch a break.

I was never popular, but not for a lack of trying. I respect all those people who say they’re comfortable with themselves and they don’t need to impress anyone, but I think that is just something people say. I at least have an innate need to please other people and to fit in, and when I inevitably don’t fit in or please certain people I feel like a big fat failure.

You can imagine how high school was for me. Continue reading “How to Be Unpopular”

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Gunpoint Values

“Your money or your life?” the man before him sensibly asked while holding a gun and looking stoned. And Leon took a moment to contemplate his response. See, he had $5000 dollars on him that he had been taking to the bank to deposit. It was all the money he had in the world, and he didn’t know if he could face the life he would have to live if he handed it over. It seemed to him like the classic “six of one, half a dozen of another” scenario he had seen often on his favorite television programs.

“Can I just give you some of my money?” he asked, serious as a heart attack. “‘Cause I got bills and alimony, and I owe this bookie.” The man looked at him like Leon had just grown two extra heads, and he smirked. It was all so amusing to the man who was wearing patent leather shoes, Leon thought angrily. For a moment he didn’t even see the gun, he was so livid. Then he focused on the danger he was in once more and shivered.

“Your money or your life,” the thug with the nice footwear repeated, this time as a statement instead of a question. Continue reading “Gunpoint Values”

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Friday Top 5: ’80s Slogans

Heathcliff Huxtable

Ehmagosh! The 1980s was the era of big hair, of the Huxtables, of Bo knowing all sorts of stuff, and of Reaganomics. Ask any two people who were of age during that time period and you’ll get a million different answers about what made the ’80s so special. Now we look back and we can’t help thinking about how cheesy it all seems from a distance, but when we were in the middle of it, the ’80s were breathtaking. My earliest memories took place in 1984 when I was seven years old, and revolved around music. Some of my best memories took place in 1988 when I was eleven years old and I wrote my first short story.

But some of the shared memories were the best because if I bring them up, like the Huxtables above, others will go, “Yeah! I remember that too!” It’s that shared experience that make the ’80s so exciting to revisit (like some kind of hot tub time machine). Some of the biggest shared memories were those ’80s slogans that kept going around and around our heads. They were so catchy! So, here are my top 5 ’80s slogans:

5. “How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S.” Continue reading “Friday Top 5: ’80s Slogans”

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On Writing

I don’t spend too much time writing about the way I write and why, but if I did decide to take a minute to analyze my work I would probably say I’m an unconscious writer. I’m sure you’ve heard writers talk about how the words just came to them. Well, I’m generally one of those … Continue reading On Writing