We all know someone who tells it like it is, no sugarcoating, no bells and whistles, no “I don’t mean to offend,” just comes right out with it. For better or for worse. And sometimes we appreciate the open nature, but other times we wish they would just keep it to themselves. What is it about being frank that polarizes people? That was the discussion around the water cooler today.
I know I have always had a problem myself with coming right out and saying what I mean. I am a classic “beat around the bush” type of guy. I hide behind sarcasm and subtle asides. I bet you know people like that too. You usually know what they mean, but only if you’re tuned to their unique frequency.
Why can’t we all just say what we mean all the time? Social etiquette imposes some pretty hefty restrictions, said some others around the cooler. For example:
1) She asks you what you really think, and the first word that comes to mind is “cankles.” Uh, no.
2) He asks you if you think he’s good enough to try out for American Idol, and you think he sounds like a goat on ritalin. Um, not quite.
In these instances and many others, there just isn’t much wiggle room for being frank and keeping these people as your friends. But, of course, someone else said, if you’re a real friend you tell it like it is without fear of recriminations. In what world does that work out for you, another person replied. In fact, the conversation got pretty involved.
One thing we agreed on is that there are times, places, and certain people who fit the qualifications for being frank about and toward. A thing you have to think about is how you would feel if someone told you something that frank, and how does the other person differ from you?
It just simply isn’t an all or nothing proposition. Being frank is a science that you can navigate, but always do it carefully. And there are just some things you are never frank about. Just know what they are and you’ll be just fine!
Sam
Sam's Online Journal 
I wish I were more frank when it comes to standing up for myself or voicing my own concerns. I think I already do pretty well at being honest when it comes to white lies. I don’t handout unnecessary compliments, but I’m not mean either. I have a hard time lying about somebody’s new hair cut if I really think it is bad. But I won’t say that either. I just stay neutral.
Standing up for yourself is a very difficult thing for a lot of people to do, I’ve noticed. Especially when we doubt ourselves or we just don’t want to make waves. I know I’ve had a hard time doing it when I’ve been wronged by someone else. As for being neutral, sometimes that’s the best thing when we don’t want to just lie. I like your approach that way!
I am not cruel enough to give the unaltered truth all the time. But I sidestep in a way that usually gives me away…well maybe that’s just not your look. lets try some more hats….or I don’t know, I am a different person. why not give him the benefit of the doubt. Fat? No, that does not make you look fat. (thinking:you are fat, don’t blame the clothes.) I cannot say whether it is more cruel to tell the truth or withhold the truth. So I practice avoidance. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Never ever blame the clothes, Daryl. LOL.
HA!
One can be kind and frank at the same time.
Of course one can. 🙂