The Hijacked Hydrant (Summer of ’85)

We stood under the cascading flow of water arcing up from the hijacked hydrant, a bevy of hands diverting the flow so it could rain down on us. We stood there, the boys in white briefs, the girls in multicolored panties, our improvised bathing suits because there was never enough forewarning about when it would be on. It was our water park in all its ghetto glory, and it was three blocks down from us, so we had to hustle over there before the city realized and shut us down. There was no modesty at the hydrant either, even though some of us were 10 or 11. The water would cling to our skin and to our makeshift bathing suits, making them transparent, but we didn’t care. It was all about having as much fun as we could for as long as we could. Those were summers in the ghetto.

And we knew who jimmied it open too. It was either Shifty Pete, or Ol’ Ned, or Constantine from 61st street, come over to help us little dark-skinned hippies dancing under the spray of the hydrant in all our nearly naked glory. I remember I was lucky enough one time to see Ol’ Ned come by with the wrench. No one knew where he got it from, but it was bigger than the legs on our dining room chair. And he would lay that sucker on top of the hydrant and twist, using extreme torque like it was going out of style. And at those times we seemed to forget he was old. He was like a ghetto Paul Bunyan, and kids who had never seen him manhandle that hydrant would still tell stories about his amazing strength. I bet they’re still telling those tales down there on Broomall Street west of 56th Avenue in Southwest Philly. Shifty Pete and Constantine were good, but they weren’t legends like Ol’ Ned.

We stood under that cascading flow of water from the hijacked hydrant until our skin wrinkled up like prunes and we tasted metal in our mouths from all the water we had ingested, but we all had ridiculous smiles on our faces by the time the city finally shut the water off. And as the hydrant flow slowed to a trickle we would all hug each other, like we had just gone through a bonding experience.

Because we had.

Sam