The Anticipation of the Thing

“Sometimes the anticipation of the thing is better than the thing itself once you have it.”

You know how it is when you’re waiting for something to come in the mail? Every day you check the mailbox hoping it comes, but instead of the wonderful thing you want, you get bills and junk mail instead. And finally, when you have completely given up, thinking maybe it was lost in the mail, or if you ordered it from a seller you’re not familiar with, you’re thinking maybe they ripped you off — then it comes. But then, once you have it in your mitts, it’s like that big movie that everyone has seen and they tell you how amazing it is, over and over again. You didn’t get the chance to see it in the theater, for whatever reason, though, and when it comes out on DVD you finally watch it. And you’re bored. It’s not the movie, though. It’s the anticipation that killed it, just like with waiting for your package to arrive in the mail. Anticipation is just like potential. It seems like a good thing, but it can be a curse.

A friend of mine applied for a job not too long ago, and it seemed like she wasn’t going to hear back from them about whether or not she was going to get it. It dragged on and on, until finally she contacted them to see what was up and found out that she had inadvertently put the wrong phone number on a form. So, they had been trying to reach her all that time to tell her she had the job, but when she never got back to them they gave it to the next person on their list. She was devastated (and I don’t blame her, in this economy), but by taking so long to contact them again, she gave up her possible control over it. She was anticipating something good, but because she didn’t take steps to communicate, and because she just waited around, she didn’t get what she wanted. In that case, her anticipation wasn’t matched by her following up.

I have anticipated many things in my life. I remember waiting with baited breath for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to hit the bookstores. First was the wait after finishing the previous book for JK Rowling to announce when the next one would be released. Then was the wait from the time of the announcement until the day came when it would be out. And last was the wait on the day it was released, which seemed like the longest wait of them all. Finally, when they opened the doors of Barnes & Noble at midnight I was practically dancing from foot to foot. In that case, the anticipation didn’t ruin a thing (although the guy who got his copy before me and turned right to the last page irked me immensely). In fact, it only made me read the book even more voraciously. So, it can work both ways.

So, I thought up a list of things people anticipate and reactions once it arrives:

** Turning 16. Usually kids look forward to this one because it means they can drive. My seven-year old is already talking about it. I think this can be a good benchmark to anticipate, but only if you’re conscientious in other things so that you’ll take driving as the serious responsibility it is.

** Letters from colleges. I can’t tell you how many stories I hear from parents who are more anxious than their children to find out if their kid got into their first choice college, if they were rejected outright, or if they were wait-listed, and the reactions are outrageous depending on the outcome. I applied to three colleges in my life and was accepted to all of them, so it was good times, but waiting to hear back was excruciating. Definitely worth it, though.

** Getting your tax refund. People go mad over their tax refunds, so you’d think they would want to get their tax information in as quickly as possible. Amazingly enough, though, there are thousands of people who wait until the last second to file their taxes. But, getting that refund is like Christmas all over again, so the anticipation is still great. I’ve found, though, that most times that money doesn’t get spent for something extravagant like we had in our minds when we were anticipating it. Oft times it is spent on necessities instead, not very fancy, but very necessary.

** The weekend. There’s something about Fridays that bring on that anticipatory bug in most of us. The weekend is a magical time, and by Tuesday we are trying to make time go faster. It’s why we hate Mondays with a passion. And it’s so magical because it happens so often, if we can contain ourselves long enough to reach it again. And again. And again. Too often, though, the weekend goes by in a blur, and it’s Monday again. So maybe this anticipation isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but when we have those wonderful things called 3-day weekends it seems even more magical.

What do you anticipate? And how do you think it will turn out for you?

Sam