“You did what?” people often ask me when they found out how we got pregnant. It’s usually such a surprise to them, the believers of old-fashioned is best-fashioned, but we did what we had to do. No, it wasn’t fun to conceive, and all those people who joke about conception have no idea. They say that getting pregnant is the fun part, but for us that was quite far from the truth. It was difficult, and the two of us weren’t the only people involved. Hold up. Don’t worry. Monogamy rules here, but modern medicine had quite a big say in how we reproduced and had our miracle children.
When we found out we couldn’t have children the “natural” way, it was devastating to say the least. While children weren’t high on my list in my younger days, as I got a little older, and found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I realized my views had changed. Then, when the doctor said it probably wasn’t going to happen, and explained to us how small the odds were, and how it was because of me, it was hard not to feel guilty, though my wife has never once blamed me for the not-so-simple fact. And, of course, his pronouncement made me all the more adamant. I wanted children, but how were we to go about it?
“it’s not just movie stars who have these procedures…”
That’s when we discovered IVF (in-vitro fertilization). See, it’s not just movie stars who have these procedures. But, the path to a viable pregnancy was still long and hard with IVF, for both of us. I actually still sometimes have nightmares about those days, weeks, and months, all the waiting, and all the procedures, and all the worrying. It was really about the worrying. Odds are not great with IVF, the same as with most other procedures of its type, but our odds were nil without it, so we wholeheartedly agreed to it. It helped that we had one of the foremost doctors in the field from this area who was willing to work with us through it all.
But it was hard work. My wife will tell you (well, maybe she won’t), that taking hormones to aid in egg production, and the procedures to extract the eggs, not fun times. Yet, those were only the first invasive issues with her part of IVF. Having to stab herself with needles every day, and me having to stab her with even larger needles every night, not enjoyable in the least. In fact, some nights I was so distraught over having to do that to my wife, who was obviously hurting even with numbing agent, I just wanted to stop. But the only thing that kept us both going throughout was the thought that eventually, we might have the chance to have a child of our own. We spent over $7000 on the process as well in the hopes that we would be successful despite the odds.
On my end, it was difficult as well. Not only did I have to stab my wife nightly with the longest needle I have ever seen that wasn’t being used on horses, but I had to also go through several procedures myself, for sperm extraction and biopsies, and needle aspirations (yeah, I learned and became proficient with all of those medical terms) in order to fertilize those eggs. Then, very few of them actually fertilized and became embryos that it was ultimately frustrating to both of us when we found out. However, the doctor was always positive throughout the process. He held our hands and prayed with us, telling us that god works in mysterious ways, right before he injected those fertilized eggs back into my wife. We did pray, and we wished, and we hoped, and we pleaded for god to give us that miracle we wanted.
Then July came, and with it a pregnancy test, probably one of the earliest ones you could possibly take, and it was hospital administered. We had to drive many miles to get to the clinic, and the return trip was interminable. They had told us they would have the results back within a couple of hours, and we got back home with time to spare. Then we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally we got that call and found out that we were one of the lucky ones. On our very first try with IVF, and $7000 dollars later, we were pregnant. But the begging and pleading continued, because we weren’t out of the woods yet. Many people who go through IVF miscarry before the 12-week period is up, so it was more of a waiting game. We stressed, and we worried, but in the end it was all worth it. In nine months time a beautiful baby girl was delivered to us.
And when she smiled up at me in the hospital, I knew she was our miracle. And now they both are. Definitely worth all the trials and tribulations we went through to have them. Even though it wasn’t fun conceiving, I’m glad we did.