Love is More than a Two-Way Street

You’ve heard it time and time again. Love means compromise. Love means unconditional. Love means you need a two-way street, give and take, a whole lot of… understanding. And while that’s all true (and certain types of love have more layers to them), it doesn’t quite add up. You see, the beauty of love is that it is between human beings, but that’s also the caveat. Human beings are changeable. In fact, from day to day, or even from moment to moment, our thoughts and feelings change. So love is more than just a two-way street. Love is a six-lane highway, with many on and off ramps.

I remember the first time I fell in love, really fell in love. Not that puppy love stuff, but the honest-to-goodness, straight from a fairy tale love that makes your toes curl. It was an amazing feeling, so I basked in it. For way too long. While I was busy basking and thanking my lucky stars that she loved me too, she was changing into someone who didn’t love the me I was anymore. She had outgrown me and I was left holding the bag.

See, love needs maintenance. It shouldn’t be easy, and if you find yourself basking, ask yourself why. It’s not good enough to expect change from the other person either. You need to also expect change from yourself. But don’t just expect it. Find out where you still mesh with the other person. Turn this changing love into a dance that you do together, not separately.

I didn’t know any of this back then, so I lost the girl, which you can imagine was devastating for me. On the positive side, though, I realized just how hard it is, how much work it takes, to maintain love. I mean, you need to know where you are, know where you’re going, know where she is, and hope you know where she’s going, all at the same time. Like Run DMC said. It’s tricky.

Oh. And girls. They are always a couple of steps ahead of us, fellas. Keep that in mind when you’re about to book reservations for your anniversary at the same place you went last year. Surprise her. She expects it. And no girl hates hearing how much you love her (provided she loves you back), but don’t just say it. Show it. It makes all the difference.

Sam