The stone was ice cold, frigid to the touch, exactly like the other ones that went on for miles in every direction with no end in sight. Between the cracks in those stones, however, lived infinitesimal creatures who had no heartbeats and yet were still alive. They existed in the arctic temperatures like ticks on … Continue reading Evolution
(to the tune of Taylor Swift’s “Twenty-Two”) It feels like a perfect day to take out my false teeth And make fun of those youngsters. Uh uh. Uh uh. It feels like a perfect day for those high waisted pants To keep me looking groovy. Uh uh. Uh uh. Yeaaaah. I’m dazed, confused, and emotional … Continue reading Eighty-Two
The old playground is usually empty this time of day, especially after Old Man Farthing hung himself with an extension cord from the swing apparatus a year ago last Tuesday. They say his ghost still haunts the swings on occasion, the village gossips do, Verena Stone and Jill Swingholm. The two of them sit on … Continue reading The Haunting
I have been instructed that I need to use you more often for things that resemble letters that I must send out to my friends, far and wide. About fifteen years ago I used you in the form of AOL’s free month of service. I remember they had all these amazing chat rooms and things called groups that I could join. It made me feel like part of a community, and everyone had these really cute e-mail addresses that ended with @aol.com. Even cooler was if I sent another AOLer an e-mail I could leave off that last part and just send it to sensualkitty, or to newyork69. That made things tons easier.
And then in college I had that super-cool @temple.edu address that was pretty easy to remember too, even though that’s also when I started getting something called Spam. I didn’t know what it was at first. I mean, the people who sent it knew my name, and the sites I would visit most. It was almost like they were psychic. “Hey Sam!” they would start, but then there were things about erectile dysfunction and applying to distance learning programs instead of the personal e-mail message I thought I was getting from innocuous names like Cindy, Bill, and Jennifer. Continue reading “Dear E-mail”
London, baby! I am standing on London Bridge and wondering if it is going to fall down again. And, yeah, I know all that stuff about it not being the original bridge, and how the real one burned to the ground (to the water?) and how this one is the seventh iteration of it, but … Continue reading Iconic
“But I don’t speak Russian,” he told her as he looked at the sign above what appeared to be a tavern. She looked at him in puzzlement because it seemed she only spoke Russian. Shaking her head, she tried a different approach to get him to understand. “Я хочу вам правильный путь. Я хочу вас, … Continue reading In Tongues