Hey, Jealousy

index“You can trust me not to drink, and not to sleep around. And if you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down.” -Gin Blossoms

Jealousy is and always will be tied and connected to trust. If you have trust in the person you’re with then you shouldn’t be jealous, right? But it’s not that simple. Nothing is ever that simple in life. There can be the utmost trust between two people, and yet jealousy can still creep in because we are human. In fact, jealousy can even be seen as a compliment by some, a sign that you still truly have feelings for someone. But what is jealousy anyway?

“Jealousy: resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage.”

I remember liking a girl in kindergarten, when most of the rest of the boys in my class were still talking about girls having cooties. Her name was Kareema, and she was the most beautiful girl I had seen to that point in my life. So I hit her one day during recess, which was my clear sign to her that I liked her. She didn’t get it, instead telling the teacher on me and getting me a demerit for it. I would watch her from then on, but I stopped hitting her, and I noticed her having fun with her girlfriends. I was jealous that I had missed my chance and they were having fun with her instead.

Then fast-forward to fifth grade, and there was Mia. Ah, Mia. By this time the other boys were finally admitting they liked girls, and the girls were playing attention-seeking games. But Mia was different. She was a quiet sort, but she had a dynamic smile. And she was my friend, but we had a bit of a flirtatious relationship. Well, flirtatious for fifth graders in the mid-80s anyway. I was even very close to asking her to go steady when Jermaine showed up. He was smooth, and before I knew it he had asked her to go steady and she said yes. I think maybe she tired of waiting around for me to ask her. I was so jealous of him, not only for getting Mia, but for being confident enough to ask for what he wanted. Continue reading “Hey, Jealousy”

Not Easy Being Green

I brought sand to the beach cause my beach is better. You can keep ya beach cause that beach whatever.” – Jay-Z

When I was young and I began a modest music collection, I remember talking to some people who were older who had scads of records and tapes. I had been so proud of my Back to the Future soundtrack and my cassette of Thriller when they had the entire David Bowie, Rolling Stones, and Grateful Dead catalogs. Then I got older and began reading thick books. The first time I read a Stephen King book from start to finish I was feeling so full of myself until I talked to someone who had read ten of his books. That’s how I learned that you should never compare yourself with anyone else. Continue reading “Not Easy Being Green”

Hey Jealousy

It’s more than just the title of a Gin Blossoms song from the early ’90s. It makes people go from mild-mannered to schizo in a span of mere seconds, or over the course of relentless weeks, months, or even years. It kills relationships more often than anything else. Yeah, sure. You were growing apart before … Continue reading Hey Jealousy