Tag: fitting in

Posted on

Like Everybody Else

“People who cannot invent and reinvent themselves must be content with borrowed postures, secondhand ideas, fitting in instead of standing out.” ~Warren Bennis Most of my life I have been obsessed with fitting in, and when that didn’t work I dedicated myself to standing out. The problem is that by standing out I was fitting … Continue reading Like Everybody Else

Posted on

Breaking Down Walls

“Sometimes you put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

We all put up walls, whether or not we realize it. Perhaps it’s in a new situation where we know we’re going to be judged by others, or maybe it’s because we don’t want to be seen as vulnerable. Other times we put up those walls to protect ourselves from the harsh nature of the world, or because we’re just afraid. Fear is the biggest reason we put up walls: fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of change, and ultimately even fear of ourselves. We think that if other people saw us for who we really are, not only would it expose us to them, but if they reject us, they’re rejecting US, not just some facade we put up that we felt would be acceptable.

From the time I was very little I learned how to put up walls. First, it had to do with my family and the fact that everyone judged us from the moment we woke up to the moment we went to bed, and maybe even into the night, but I didn’t know about it because I was sleeping. The reasons were many. Continue reading “Breaking Down Walls”

Posted on

What I Saw: Interracial America and Fitting In

What do you see in this photo?

I walked down the sidewalk on my way to work yesterday and I found myself behind an interracial couple with their two children. The man was black, the woman white, and the kids a wonderful mix of the two. And they were happy. I could tell in the way they held each others’ hands and swung their arms back and forth, all four of them. They were also having a conversation, and I could feel the positive vibes radiating from them. It was a poignant moment.

Then I looked around and noticed a small group of other people heading to the same store, and they were also looking at the exact family that I was, but not in the same way. At first it was hard to ascertain the feeling behind the expressions on their faces, but then I recognized it as disgust. Continue reading “What I Saw: Interracial America and Fitting In”