Tag: conversation

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Chatting With Lexi: The Grumpus

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Guess which one is the Grumpus.

There is this wonderful Friends episode where Freddie Prinze, Jr., as a nanny, introduces these two puppet characters: Mr. Wigglemunch and the Grumpus. Mr. Wigglemunch seems to be a friendly sort who speaks in a high pitched voice and espouses knowledge. “What’s the only boat that will never sink? A friendSHIP.” While our friend the Grumpus is just as his name suggests, an eternal grump for whom nothing will ever suffice. And I’m afraid Lexi has a kinship with the Grumpus, more so lately.

Me: You’re done with your screen time for today. You’ve had more than enough.

Lexi: NO I haven’t! I’m going to watch more.

Me: No you’re not. You’re going to turn that iPad off and find something constructive to do.

Lexi: Can’t I do my educational app instead?

Me: Uh, no. You’re going to turn the iPad off.

Lexi: Well, do I get more screen time later?

Me: You’ve had enough for the day.

Lexi: BUT IT’S NOT FAIR!

Me: You know what’s really not fair? That I have to argue with you about this.

Lexi: But I’ve only had an hour today, and I’m supposed to get two.

Me: No, your limit is two hours. That doesn’t mean you need or deserve those two hours every day. You need to find other ways to stimulate your brain.

Lexi: I’m not going to do anything then.

Me: Okay. Continue reading “Chatting With Lexi: The Grumpus”

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Chatting With Lexi: Big Sister

Yesterday Lexi, Maddie and I took a walk down to the park to meet one of Lexi’s friends for a play date. It was beautiful weather and she even wore shorts, but I was conservatively dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Maddie decided she wanted to just wear sweat pants and a long-sleeved shirt, so I’m sure she was hot, but she never complained. Of course because it was Lexi’s play date she had to make sure she was little miss bossy when we ended up starting out late in order to get to the park.

Lexi: Daddy, how come we always have to wait for Maddie? It’s MY play date.

Me: Because there’s only one of me, and we can’t leave Maddie here by herself.

Lexi: What if she was asleep? Could we leave her alone then?

Me: [stunned silence]

Lexi: I’m just kidding. I know we can’t leave Maddie alone!

Me: Good, because I thought we were going to have to have a serious talk.

Lexi: More serious than this one?

Me: Definitely. She’s your little sister, and she has to go along on play dates like this one because I’m going along.

Lexi: I know. I went on one of her play dates before too.

Me: Do you get upset when Maddie has to come along?

Lexi: No. I just play with my friends anyway.

Me: You don’t try to include your sister?

Lexi: Well, she comes over and stuff, but she does her own thing.

Me: Maybe you should try to include your sister? After all, you know she loves to play with you. Continue reading “Chatting With Lexi: Big Sister”

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Dressed in Black

I remember the oddest things sometimes. A woman wearing all black came through my cashier line at Target yesterday, and she was purchasing another all-black outfit, so of course I had to comment on her clothing choice… Me: That color brings out your eyes. All-Black Girl: It is pretty easy to accessorize in the mornings. … Continue reading Dressed in Black

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The Race Conversation

raceconversation“Until justice is blind to color, until education is unaware of race, until opportunity is unconcerned with the color of men’s skins, emancipation will be a proclamation but not a fact.” ~Lyndon B. Johnson

I never really cared about race, but race was always concerned with me. Maybe because I was born black, or perhaps because I was born in this country, or probably both. Definitely both. There’s just something to be said about being that “other” that is contrasted with the majority, that absence of color when compared with the presence of all color. I mean, that’s what white is, right? The presence of all color. So why isn’t it all-inclusive? And why should any of it matter anyway?

The United States has been characterized as this great big “melting pot,” where people from all backgrounds and ethnicities are welcome and appreciated, as this giant quilt that stitches people together and creates something new and incredible from each pattern. Yet more often than not it is instead a middle school lunchroom with its cliques and ostracizing behavior. Now, while race isn’t the only dividing line, it is still one of the thickest. And I don’t think I’ll ever understand why.

But that’s a conversation for another time.

What’s important to me at this exact moment is my children having to deal with these issues without really understanding them. Continue reading “The Race Conversation”

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Chatting With Lexi: New York

new-york-skyline-in-ink-lee-ann-adendorffWe’re taking the girls to New York this fall, and from the moment my wife told Lexi that it was happening all we’ve heard around here is how much fun she’s going to have, how many sights she’s going to see, and how amazing it’s all going to be. Now, if you knew Lexi, you would know that she’s like a dog with a bone, especially when it’s something she wants, and somehow New York — the big city of dreams — has blazed like fire inside of her ever since she first heard of it.

This week we had another conversation about what she feels the trip will entail…

Lexi: I want to see the Statue of Liberty first. Do you think we’ll be able to get inside the crown?

Me: I don’t see why not, but it’s been a long time since I visited the Statue.

Lexi: Maybe you can get on your computer and find out.

Me: Now?

Lexi: Well, yeah. Oh, but I have my iPad and it’s got Safari so maybe I can find out myself.

Me: I’ll look for you.

Lexi: Great. And we have to go to the Empire State Building.

Me: You know I’m afraid of heights, right?

Lexi [with an incredulous look on her face]: What?

Me: I’m scared of heights. I don’t think I’m going to the top with you.

Lexi: YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE TOP!

Me: Okay, but I just won’t look down.

Lexi: That’s just silly, daddy.

Me: No sillier than you freaking out over an ant on the windowsill.

Lexi [laughing]: That’s not the same thing, daddy! Continue reading “Chatting With Lexi: New York”

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Chatting With Lexi: On Enrichment

what-to-do-when-your-bored-at-school_4My wife and I have been talking quite a bit lately about how challenging the school work has been/hasn’t been for Lexi. When she first started school it was a concern for us because she had shown aptitude for advanced processing and we wanted to make sure that school was sufficiently challenging her brain. Then, when we found out that she had ADHD we knew it would take a renewed effort to ensure that school was “tough enough” just to help her keep focus. But we’re still concerned.

When Lexi got her report card at the end of the school year that divide was still quite evident, with all of her strictly academic grades in the wonderful category while her behavioral grades are under the average. Why is that? We had a talk with her about it soon after the school year ended…

Me: So, Lexi, how come your grade in art is so low? You love art.

Lexi: I know, but I keep finishing early.

Me: And what happens when you finish early? Do you work on more art?

Lexi: No. I just go around and tell other kids how to fix theirs.

Me: You think what they’re doing is wrong?

Lexi: No. But I’m bored, and since I’m artist I wanted to help them.

Me: And what does the teacher say about that?

Lexi: She says I’m too loud and distracting others.

And therein lies the issue, in my opinion. Lexi more often than not finishes ahead of the other students, with significant time to spare, and then has to come up with things to do in order to fill her time. Most times, because she craves interaction with others, that means interrupting them while they’re trying to finish and getting in trouble for it. Simply put, she’s bored, and when Lexi’s bored she finds things to occupy herself, not all of which are good ideas.

Me: Did you stop going around and trying to help others?

Lexi: Well, yeah. I did, but then I got bored again so I started playing with the paints.

Me: Is that why you have a big spot of paint on your pants?

Lexi: Yeah. And the teacher said I wasn’t supposed to be doing that either.

Me: Did she tell you what you could do when you finished early?

Lexi: No. She just told me what I couldn’t do. Continue reading “Chatting With Lexi: On Enrichment”