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Baggage Claim

emotional-baggageWe all have baggage, don’t we? But it’s not like luggage that we tag and hope gets to the same destination that we do. Our baggage is something we can’t help but carry along with us, whether we want to or not, and it stays with us. What we choose to do about that baggage is up to us, though, if we let it drag us down, or if we learn from it and become better about not accumulating more baggage.

I know I personally have a lot of baggage myself, and most of it has a lot to do with how I see myself today. When I was younger I tended to blame pretty much everyone else in my life for my opinions of myself. They told me I was a certain way and I internalized that, thinking it was true and creating my own baggage in the process. I was a nerd. I was too short. I was awkward around others. I was, in most respects, a basket case. Because I chose to believe others.

There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother that treated this idea in a wonderful way, by showing people with actual labeled baggage that they were physically carrying with them. How great would that be? When we first met someone we could see that they have 10 bags they’re struggling to carry, and we can walk the other way. Right? Of course if that were the case, I probably wouldn’t be married now.

baggageYou see, when we first start out in a relationship it’s the human way to dole out those pieces of baggage bit by bit, over a course of time. It’s called “getting to know each other.” Perhaps you’ve heard of it. In this way the other person is able to digest what we’ve told them one at a time instead of getting bombarded with it all at the same time. That’s the only reason they don’t run screaming away from us when we first meet, and why we advance to a second, third, and umpteenth date.

But think about it. One of the biggest issues we have in relationships is that we don’t ever divulge all of the baggage. Continue reading “Baggage Claim”

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So Obvious

Predictable
I think I’m going with… six.

I just realized I’m predictable. You know those people who you see, who just go with the flow and everything always seems to be “whatever” with them? Yeah, I’m not one of them. I’ve never been one of them.

From the start, actually, I guess I’ve been a small bit contentious, and a big bit obvious. I’ve rarely given something new a chance. I would still be eating plain cheese pizza if not for my sister and best friend slipping some mushrooms under the cheese so I didn’t know it was there that one time. When I find a food I like, I stick with it, to the exclusion of a lot else.

Case in point: my wife and I like to get to Pizzeria Uno and/or the Olive Garden at least once a year or so, usually on an anniversary. She often orders different dishes to get some variety and to sample whatever she hasn’t sampled before, or at least not in a long time. I get pizza at Uno’s, and the filling penne pasta dish at the Olive Garden. Every single time.

In fact, I’m the person who others can order for and get it right 99.9% of the time. And it doesn’t just go for food either. When I find a show I like on TV, or a movie that is a particular favorite I will watch it over and over again. My favorite movie — Back to the Future Part II — I’ve seen 32 times. Yes, I keep count. Those shows and movies are like traditions to me. If you ever caught up with me on my birthday you would already know what I would be watching. That’s how predictable I am with most things in my life.

I remember when my oldest daughter was born, the first words out of my mind were, “Thank God she’s not Chinese.” Now, don’t worry. I’m not some Sterling-esque hater who puts down other cultures. I said it because one of the things people sometimes worry about with IVF (we utilized the technology to get both of our children) is that components from people other than the actual parents might have gotten mixed up. My wife — God bless her soul — having just given birth, just rolled her eyes and told the midwife, “It’s okay. He thinks he’s funny because we used IVF.” See. Predictable. Continue reading “So Obvious”

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We Were On a Break: Friends After 10 Years

friendsSeriesFinale1
Has it truly been 10 years?

10 years ago, to the day, my favorite television show ever, Friends, ended in grand style with a two-part finale that wrapped everything up much better than a lot of finales have before or since. Of course, being such a huge fan, I wanted several certain things to happen, and I had my fingers crossed for:

  • Rachel and Ross to end up together
  • Monica and Chandler to have their kids
  • Joey to not be left behind
  • Closure on this part of their lives
  • Hope for good things to happen in their future

attachment-4669In fact, 10 years later I imagine Ross and Rachel have two more beautiful children, and Ben is a good big brother to them all, even though he’s in college in Rhode Island so he doesn’t see them nearly as much as he would wish. Joey’s attempt at restarting his acting career gave him a chance to reconnect with his sister and his nephew in Los Angeles, then he lands an amazing part in a new sitcom as the headmaster of a school for young boys. The show is still a huge international hit. Monica and Chandler raised the twins well, and then 3 years after their birth Monica got pregnant despite the odds and ironically had another set of twins they called Joey and Phoebe.

Their kids are good friends with Rachel and Ross’s kids. In fact, their parents joked that they might end up living across the hall from each other in New York City someday. Continue reading “We Were On a Break: Friends After 10 Years”

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Checked Out: Week 17

Well, I got a bit sidetracked this week with my book Who Asked You? by Terry McMillan. I’ll admit I was a bit prejudiced against it from the start, and once I got past the first chapter I realized it had more than one narrator. In fact, it has at least four so far (but … Continue reading Checked Out: Week 17

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Tale of Two Cities

philadelphia_skyline_5d_winter_2008_9619_wallpaper
My birth city. Philadelphia.

It was the best of times, it was the better of times. Or something like that. It’s been said that people either love the place they grew up in or they hate it. So many people spend so much time trying their hardest to “escape,” to get out and move on with their lives, because they don’t appreciate the place that raised them. While others are quite content to live and grow old in the place of their birth, around the people who have always been around and who will always be around.

I’m a bit different. I love where I grew up but I don’t still live there. Philadelphia is the most amazing city in the world. I was just there last weekend, and every time I go back it both reminds me why I love it, and why I still miss it so much. Of course I haven’t lived there since late 1998, a span of over 15 years, but it’s still a version of  “home” that I treasure more than almost any other place in the world.

There’s just something to be said about that Philly atmosphere, even though I’ve never had one of those famous cheesesteaks (it’s the first question I get asked whenever anyone finds out I’m from the city of Brotherly Love). I mean, that Philly vibe is one of the most unique I’ve ever been around. I liken it to being a fan of a football team. You might adore the team, but when it does something stupid you scratch your head and complain. It doesn’t mean you don’t still love the team. You’re just so invested that you feel a part of it, even when you have no say over it. Continue reading “Tale of Two Cities”