What Men Don’t Do

Nearly fifteen years ago there was a movie called What Women Want that saw Mel Gibson shed his chauvinistic ways when he begins hearing women’s thoughts. It teaches him that women are sentient creatures too, and they deserve to be understood and appreciated for that. It also shows him that perhaps his way of always doing things isn’t such a good path to take when it comes to dealing with women, and with the things he thought defined him as a man as well.

Often men are generalized, but those generalizations come from a vast majority of them actually being a particular way. How often have you known a guy who won’t ask for directions no matter how lost he is? When was the last time you saw a man cry in public? Can you count on more than one hand the men you know who would skip a sporting contest to go to the ballet because the woman he loves wants to go? Perhaps you know some men who are the exceptions, but here’s a list of some generalizations that generally stay true.

What men don’t do:

1. Admit when they’re wrong
2. Know when to give up
3. Accept their faults
4. Wash their hands
5. Plan their wedding
6. Act their age
7. Talk about their feelings
8. Buy new underwear
9. Listen to Tori Amos
10. Use a vacuum
11. Ask for directions
12. Leave food on the plate
13. Admit when they’re jealous
14. Balance a checkbook
15. Know when to shut up

I love Tori Amos, by the way, but I have yet to meet another guy who admits the same. I think maybe that’s the reason all those other guys I saw at the Tori Amos concert were looking bored and/or asleep. And I can’t recall the last time I was in a public bathroom with more than one other guy when everyone in the room washed their hands before exiting. I don’t even like to think about that. If I could just close my eyes while I’m in there I can pretend everyone washed their hands.

Oh, and my wife just bought me some new underwear, so I don’t think that counts.

Sam